The Sojourner Blog

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2010-05-08T17:26:00.000-05:00

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"Who You Really Are = What You Do Under Pressure"

2010-04-08T09:30:00.001-05:00

This was the scene one morning in the skies circling my hotel in L.A. during my recent journey there to take the Story Course with Robert McKee. My first full day in that city had been rough for me--spiritually, emotionally, physically--and the night that followed fared no better. So the next morning I wrestled myself out of bed and took a stroll along the streets bordering my hotel to clear my head and ask God what the heck was going on. Not two seconds after voicing the prayer, I looked up and saw a red-tailed hawk soaring directly overhead with two crows hard on its case, alternately dive bombing the hawk as it circled the hotel. A voice in my spirit said calmly and with a hint of levity, "That's what's going on."

I continue to be surprised by how slow I can be at times on the uptake about such things. Even Abraham had to fight off the birds to protect the offering God had commanded him to bring. Why should I be so easily surprised by opposition or think of it as something out of the norm? We in the West have been taught that happiness is defined by the absence of such things--resistance, stress, opposition, pressure, suffering, attack. But McKee would argue that true fulfillment, true happiness, cannot exist apart from them.

The logic goes like this: A man longs to find his meaning & purpose in the world. To do that he needs to discover his own true heart--that is, he needs to know what he's made of, who he really is deep inside, whether he is more noble or base...and thereby determine his true place in the world. The thing is, says McKee, the only way for him to find out who he really is deep inside is by being forced to make choices under extreme pressure. "You are what you do under pressure," says McKee, "and the greater the pressure, the truer the revelation of who you really are." All choices made or actions taken in life absent of this pressure are what McKee would call "characterization"--that is, the elaborate self portrait we each paint for the world and point to and say, "this is me." Only it's not the real you; it's a portrait you've created of who you think you are or want to be. Who you really are, however, can only be revealed through the choices you make and actions you take in the midst of difficulty and struggle. The greater the struggle, the truer the revelation of your true self. Suffering, pain, resistance, stress--all of these are essential to the process of true self-discovery, and therefore, are essential to true fulfillment and happiness.

Though I don't believe McKee is a Christ follower, I was struck by how closely his conclusions about the connection between suffering and fulfillment matched the Bible's view on the subject:

"Wealso rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, [proven] character; and [proven] character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." ~ Romans 5:3-5

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." ~ James 1:2-4

McKee's view of character formation & revelation leads to one sobering conclusion I am pondering at length these days: What you claim to believe in or follow or support from your place of comfort matters not at all. That's all characterization; it may or may not be true, but it certainly can't be trusted. It is only what you do, how you live, when the pressure is on, that truly counts. How will you know, then, if you truly believe in the things you claim to believe until you have suffered real pain and loss for their sake?

"Of what worth are convictions that bring not suffering? ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

What do you think? Do you agree with McKee's assertion that "you are what you do under pressure," or is there more to it than that?

Creativity = Finding New Connections

2010-04-06T06:53:00.003-05:00

The Story Course in L.A. left me with a lot to process. Not just about the writer's craft but also about many deeper matters--from the nature of creativity to what we mean when we say someone has a noble "character" to how communication really happens (text or subtext?) to what it really means to be a fully formed human being, and why so few of us actually get there.

Who knew a course on writing fiction would turn out to be the philosophical equivalent of a UFC throwdown?

So let me begin in the (slightly) shallower waters: What is creativity? When you are being creative, what are you actually doing? McKee defined creativity in an interesting way. He said that creativity is the art and skill of making connections that have never been named before between things that already exist. As an example, he quoted this line from a Carl Sandburg poem:

The fog comes
on little cat feet.

He makes the point that the creative artistry in Sandburg's poem isn't in writing about fog or little cat feet, but by naming the previously unseen connection between them. Once you read this, says McKee, you can never experience fog in quite the same way.

Another example: The photograph by Brian Rust, above, in which he draws out for us the curiously disturbing beauty entangled in a mass of automobile corpses. And another: The elegant lyric in Brooke Fraser's song "Shadowfeet" (video below): "I am changing / less and less asleep." Again, the creativity, the artistry, lies in identifying a fresh connection between two things that already exist--in this case, personal transformation and the process of slowly waking up.

What do you think? Do you agree with McKee's definition of creativity? How might you spin it differently, or make for us a new connection?

Easter Meditation

2010-04-04T08:44:00.001-05:00

I once wrote a song that I called "Lord of the Morning." I used to live in an apartment with a big bay window facing East, and I would awaken most mornings before dawn, make my coffee, and huddle up under a blanket on the sofa and watch the wonder unfold. It amazed me, and continues to now, how each morning's art is different. No two alike, from the first sunrise on earth to this very morning, as I sit writing these words, awaiting the sun. How can a God, however vast his means, paint billions of sunrises morn after morn, and make them all equally glorious in their own unique way? What kind of God would do that?

Watching this morning art session always had the effect of making me feel loved--in part because I reasoned that if God cared so much about the artful and unique crafting of each sunrise, how much more he must care about the artful and unique crafting of each human soul...and in part because there is wisdom in the sun's rising that whispers truths to the spirit that the unsurrendered mind can only guess at, as one might guess at the source of a sweet scent caught briefly on the breeze.

You are Lord God
King of the Morning
Arise and sing O Earth to the Lord your God
My song will rise and awaken the morning
For the Lord of the morning
He is good

I arise today to awaken the dawn, as I have so many times. But today is not like the rest...not just unique; the most unique. Not just artful; the most artful. This is Easter morn, and the Son is about to rise over the whole earth, victorious, King, Lord of the sun and every soul on whom its warmth depends.

Do you remember the old bluesy spiritual that asks, "Were you there when they crucified my Lord?" The song offers the question as an invitation to imagine yourself in that place in time with Jesus, watching the crucifixion unfold, watching him die. But you can also take the question literally. And the answer is yes.

I was there. We were all there. Everything in me that falls short of God's highest dream for the world, everything in me that hates and judges and demands my own way to the hurt of others and my own true heart, was there.

He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. ~ 2 Corinthians 5:21

Whose sin did Christ become? It was mine. I was there. I killed the Christ. You were there too. On him. In him. Through him. We all were. The death of Jesus bonds us all in a common fallenness. We have no room any longer to judge one another. We have all committed murder. We have, all of us together, killed God.

But the story does not end there. Christ rose. He rises today. I believe that God, in the form of a man, literally and bodily rose from the dead, and in so doing, established a new kind of extraordinary life, a life that heals all that is wounded inside us all, a life that overcomes death in all its myriad forms. A life that he offers to everyone who will receive it. It is the very thing we've all hoped for, the very gift our broken hearts would most hope our Artist God, painter of billions of glorious dawns, maker of billions of beautiful souls, would give. And he has given it.

That's what Easter is--a celebration of the gift of this new life that God offers us all. I have received this life, and it has changed everything...because it has changed me. His love, his gift, his art in me, makes me whole.

For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf...Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. ~ 2 Corinthians 5:14-17

It is a new dawn. Easter Morn. May you encounter the Son this day in a way you have never known before.

Inside Then Outside

2010-04-01T06:32:00.001-05:00

I snapped this shot last week as I was preparing to journal on a misty morning in Boston. When I think of all the places in the world that journal has been, all the spaces in which I've written volumes that no one other than God will see, my soul grows warm and grateful. I think of David's realization of the beauty of his life:

"The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places. Indeed, my inheritance is beautiful to me." (Psalm 16:6)

Right on, brother. I couldn't agree more.

For the past several weeks, I've been slowly reading Gail Sher's book on the writing life, One Continuous Mistake. Two quotes stood out to me recently:

"When you hack away at your writing and it refuses to ping, it means you still have something to learn--either about you or your subject, your feelings about your subject, or, more likely, both."

"Good writing happens cyclically, inside then outside, inside then outside. When it finally 'pings,' we simply bow."

During my recent time at the Story Course (of which I'll have much to say in coming posts), Robert McKee said that all writers are skeptics by nature. I don't believe this is true. I think it is more accurate to say that all writers are intrinsically honest--at least, all the compelling writers are. They tell what they see, as they see it, and convey its effect on them in a way that to others seems naked and powerful.

To do this, a writer needs to know something of the subject (actually, more than merely "something"...a writer needs what McKee calls an "Author's Knowledge" of a subject, a "god like" understanding of the matter at hand), and also be clear and honest about the subject's effect on him. A writer lives embedded ("in bed with") not only the subject itself, but also his experience of it--clearly, vulnerably, without hype or pretense.

To write in this way, I believe a writer needs to develop the capacity to be quiet and at rest--to understand the cyclical nature of this deeper creative process (as Sher describes it), and be content to look deep for as long as it takes to find the connections that have not yet been named, explore his own feelings about it all, and when at last he deeply, truly has something to say, to say it.

This is perhaps the difference between a writer and a pontificator: "Deep calls to Deep"

Report on The Destiny Project Retreat -- Austin

2010-03-30T10:18:00.000-05:00

The Destiny Project Retreat Austin rocked the house! Fourteen amazing women came together for four days of fun, authentic community and deep communion with God. The results were transformational. Here's what just a few of the women had to say about the experience:

"Throw away any preconceived ideas you have about retreats. This is not the same...it's a million times better!" ~ Jamie

"This course has changed my perception of myself and will transform my world as I step into my true identity in Christ. Thank you!" ~ Sam

"The Destiny Project gives you the tools and space to slow down and listen to God and let His truth about who you really are wash over you. It helps you uncover the beautiful desires God has placed deep in your heart to serve and follow Him. I crawled into the weekend beaten and tired. I walked out encouraged and loved and motivated to be all that God has called me to be." ~ Edie

This retreat continually reminds me that whenever we come to God with willing hearts and open curiosity, God runs to meet us (Luke 15:20). He really does want to meet with us and tell us who we are and what he created us to do and empower us to live out that identity and mission in every arena of our lives. The Artist loves his art. The Father loves his child.

With seven trained and certified facilitators, new Destiny Project courses and retreats are being offered all the time. A new website will be up in just a few weeks at www.destinyprojectonline.com, to make it easier to find a Destiny Project course or retreat that works for you. But until then, feel free to email Haley and ask for info. She'll send you a list of all the courses coming up soon.

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me--watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." ~ Matthew 11:28-30 (The Message)

Report on The Destiny Project Retreat -- Seattle

2010-02-15T14:46:00.000-06:00

The Destiny Project Retreat in Seattle is over, and I'm stoked by the powerful experience that it was for the women who came, as well as for my friend and colleague, Shannon Bruce, who facilitated the course. Shannon wrote me this note right after the retreat:

"I am basking in the afterglow of love that transpired through the circle of ten women who attended the retreat. It was profound to witness the impact of this transformational experience where women stepped out of the comfort zone into the unknown, creating a space of safety and acceptance to discover their desires, dreams, values, identities and missions."

One of the participants, Rhonda, described her experience this way:

"I’ve lived my life with the burning sense of knowing I was meant for so much more. I filled my life with busyness and over commitment not knowing what to say yes and no to. I longed to really hear clearly from the Holy Spirit what he saw in me and where he wanted me to go in my life but never felt I could.

"The Destiny Project Retreat changed all that! For the first time I heard loud & clear from the Holy Spirit, that he definitely had an identity for me and my mission became quite clear! What incredible freedom to know what to focus my life around. The world would never be the same if every woman stood in their true identity and moved forward courageously in their mission. My prayer is that every woman would get this opportunity."

When I created the Destiny Project, I had no idea how many women were hungry for a training experience like this, where they can be authentically called forth to dream again, discover their truly unique identity as followers of Christ and embrace the full permission to boldly and courageously go after the inspired life God designed them to live. Thanks to all the women who came to Seattle with such open, courageous hearts.

New Destiny Project courses are being offered all the time. Most meet by phone, so travel is no obstacle. If you're interested in learning more, drop me a line. I'll send you our schedule for upcoming courses.

We hope you accept the invitation to be a part of the adventure!

Reframing

2010-01-25T14:09:00.004-06:00

The car is back in the shop today. I previously reported that nothing was wrong with it, but it turns out that's not quite true. Actually, there's nothing wrong with the engine, but the internal sensors are all out of whack. Specifically, one of the core sensors is shot, and its malfunction has caused a cascade failure of seven other key sensors throughout the system. The engine may continue to run fine for some time to come, but the dashboard will tell me, continually, that the car is busted in multiple ways, hanging on by a thread. Alarms are sounding off everywhere, alerting me to danger that isn't really there. So I'm getting my sensors fixed.

This curious trouble with my car got me thinking about the art and skill of Reframing -- which is a sort of human version of "sensor repair" work that all of us have to do from time to time. Sometimes our real problem isn't with the things that happen to us, but with the way we choose to perceive them. Our internal sensors signal "Danger," or "Fear," or "System-wide Failure!" while, in reality, the engine of our lives may be running just fine. "It's all in how you look at it" is an axiom that holds a lot of power for those who are willing to believe it.

Take Neo, for example, in the scene pictured above from The Matrix. As long as Neo saw the agents as agents, he couldn't really beat them. But when he shifted his perspective (i.e. retrained his sensors) to see them on a different level--as lines of computer code--he was able to overcome them easily.

Here's an example from my own life: I'm in a season where a lot of change is happening in a lot of arenas of my life all at once. For the past few weeks, all this change has made me feel tense and anxious, even though all the changes are good. I realized recently that the "frame" or perspective I was holding around all this change was that it was "Too Much All At Once." But, in reality, that's not really true; that's just how it felt. The deeper truth is that all this change is coming at exactly the right time for me. The truth is that "This is the Right Time. I'm Ready for This." That shift away from a perspective that wasn't really true to one that is true has caused my tension and anxiety to vanish. Nothing externally has changed one bit; yet my experience of it is vastly different, all because I reframed the way I was choosing to see it.

My friend John Burke gave an interesting talk at Gateway Church this past weekend along similar lines. While talking about how lies can lure us into destructive life patterns, he gives some very practical steps for shifting your perspective in life from views ("frames") that are not really true to much more life-giving views that are. When you have about 40 minutes, I recommend checking it out.

Twisted | Watch Your Blind Side from Gateway Church on Vimeo.

Friday Encouragement

2010-01-22T13:00:00.000-06:00

Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark,

in the hopeless swamps of the approximate,

the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all.

Do not let the hero in your soul perish,

in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach.

Check your road and the nature of your battle.

The world you desired can be won.

It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.

~ Ayn Rand

Watch the Scene by Clicking Here

(sorry, they disabled embedding for this one)

The Lies That Bind

2010-01-19T09:14:00.003-06:00

I was impacted this past Sunday by this short video, created by the amazing creative team at Gateway Church to illustrate the binding force of lies so many of us believe about who we are and what we are capable of offering the world.

Bound from Gateway Church on Vimeo.

The video reminded me of a simple but profound question that I often ask in my coaching work with clients...

What's holding you back?

None of us are exempt from the effect of lies that we believe. They bind up our souls and hold our hearts hostage, keeping us from living out the bold, free life that God intended for us all. They keep us from action. They keep us living small.

Here's a challenge: Sometime this week, sit alone with your journal and make a list of just five things that you deeply desire. If you like, use these questions as a guide:

What's one thing you deeply desire...

... for yourself and your life?
... for your family?
... for your relationships?
... for your nation?
... for the world?

Then, after each one, write your response to this question:

What are the messages I tell myself that hold me back from taking action to make this desire a reality?

Lies are subtle: Obvious from a distance, but hard to see up close. Part of wisdom is recognizing that there are voices in the world that don't have your best interest in mind. And some of them are inside your own head.

"You will know the truth; and the truth will set you free." ~ Jesus (John 8:32)

P.S.-- For the full message connected to the video above, go to gatewaychurch.com (or just click here). And join us live online next Sunday morning (9:30, 11, and 12:30 central) for more of Gateway's current series on overcoming lies in our lives.

Ebb

2010-01-14T11:59:00.002-06:00

Last week, my engine light came on. I took the car to the shop, where the technician hooked the computer up to my dashboard, looked at the screen and promptly frowned. "You shouldn't be driving this car," he said. "You've got seven system warnings firing; something is seriously wrong. I can drive you home. I think you should leave the car here. It isn't safe." So I did. Once home, I canceled all the offsite meetings I had scheduled for the next few days. Thankfully, most of my meetings for the week were by phone. But then, one by one, various people called and canceled all but one of those as well. Within a few hours, what was a full week of meetings turned into an unexpected private retreat. A blank canvas. This was starting to feel like a setup...

"You have bedded me down in lush meadows, you find me quiet pools to drink from. True to your word, you let me catch my breath and send me in the right direction."
(Psalms 23:2-3, The Message)

Life is full of rhythms. This is by Design. Years. Seasons. The ebb and flow of the tides. Day and night. The circadian rhythms that govern our bodies' daily cycle of consciousness and sleep. The more frequent cycle of hunger and activity that we pass through several times a day. Even our breath is governed by a rhythm that marks the passing of each moment of our lives. But the one rhythm we often miss--or perhaps intentionally resist--is what my friend Ruth Haley Barton calls the Sacred Rhythm. (Click here to see her book by that title, and here to read an article she wrote giving an overview of these rhythms in the life of a leader.) These are repeating cycles of active engagement in the work you are called to, solitude & rest, and restorative community. As any athlete will tell you, our bodies are not designed to sprint at full speed indefinitely. Neither are our souls. Just as our body needs both rest and refueling after a season of exertion, so do our hearts. A lot of us are slogging onward through our days with our souls dangerously dehydrated and starved, but it's been that way so long we don't even feel it anymore.

After more than three days in the shop, it turns out nothing at all was wrong with my car. Its absence didn't cost me a penny, but through it God called me away for a time of much needed solitude, rest and reflection with Him.

You have to pay attention to the signs. Sometimes when it feels like your best-laid plans are running foul, it may just be a signal from above. And the smartest thing you can do is drop your war and run away, at least for a while.

New Video for The Pearlsong Refounding!

2010-01-08T16:26:00.000-06:00

Here's a new video for my fantasy novel trilogy, The Pearlsong Refounding, created by my friend and WayPoint tribemate Wendy Balman. Thanks so much, Wendy. This is awesome!

Please share with your friends!

Gideon's Dawn, Waymaker & The Word Within from Michael Warden on Vimeo.

My Current Reading List

2010-01-07T08:41:00.001-06:00

This is a shot of my niece on one of her many climbing adventures. I love the satisfaction this photograph conveys; the sense of peaceful rest and reward that comes at the peak of a challenging climb. It reminds me of a similar gift I experience from reading a challenging good book.

"A good book should leave you...slightly exhausted at the end. You live several lives while reading it." ~ William Styron, interview, Writers at Work, 1958

It's no surprise that I'm a lover of books and of reading, being a writer myself. I typically read two to four books each month. Here's a quick list of what I'm reading right now:

A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future by Daniel Pink -- A fascinating and (for a right-brainer like me) deeply encouraging exploration of the current dramatic shift in the western business world from a left- to right-brained leadership model.

Await Your Reply, a novel by Dan Chaon -- A Christmas gift from The Enchanter. Regardless of genre, I love reading fiction that's exceptionally well-written. So far this book does not disappoint.

Clairvaux Manifesto: A Personal Odyssey of Spirituality at Work by Kirk Bartha -- Part autobiography, part poetry, part instruction manual, part wisdom literature reminiscent of great Christian mystics of the past, this is not a book that can be easily labeled--or easily put down. Truthfully, it's more art than a linear text; the kind of book you don't read so much as open yourself to, and let it have its effect. So far I'm deeply moved by the effect it's having on me.

Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius -- Continuing my exploration of the Jesuit approach to faith and influence in the world, I plan to engage in the Ignatian spiritual exercises over the next few months. This book is my guide.

What's on your current reading list?

Believing

2010-01-04T07:46:00.004-06:00

I watched the Kingdom of Heaven on New Year's Eve--an inspiring way to step into the new year. Although the main character Balian struggles with self doubt concerning his faith, in many ways he embodies the very essence of what it means to believe. He sees. He chooses. He acts. He lives an integral life; there is no disparity between what he professes and what he does. He is true in that way. He is not fooling himself.

This is not common. We all profess to believe many things; to care about many things. But how we live tells the tale. Our daily life is the canvas upon which our most holy creed is written, choice by choice, action by action. Everyone, ultimately, lives what they believe.

I've become increasingly aware of late of the difference between dreaming something, and believing it. A dream may let you taste a thing, and know it in the way one "knows" a meal before he eats it. It's experienced in the realm of imagination, anticipation and desire. But it is not yet believed because it is not lived--enacted, integrated, chosen--out here in the real world of tears and sweat. It's why fantasy video games and online virtual worlds are so appealing. Users can freely dream themselves to be something without the annoying requirement of having to actually risk and fail and bleed and grow in real life. This sort of dreaming is a little like porn: A fantasy that keeps you from experiencing the real thing.

But when a thing becomes real, it becomes about you, here, now...about how you live your life, what you actually do to embody your belief, each day, not just what you imagine to be true. You become the belief, and it becomes you.

If someone examined your daily routine for one week, what would they say you truly believed about life?

(If you see the movie, choose the Director's Cut. That's the story as it was meant to be told.)

This Showed Up the Next Day...

2010-01-01T11:02:00.002-06:00

...after posting my entry On The Edge of Life...in, of all things, a fitness magazine. Love the image. Love that Merton is getting air time in a fitness magazine. A great thought--and aspiration--for the year 2010.

Happy New Year!

On the Edge of Life

2009-12-31T09:33:00.003-06:00

I had an interesting conversation with a member of my tribe this week. We'll be co-leading part of a workshop next week that's focused on helping people overcome long-standing struggles in their lives and cross the line into authentic freedom. In coaching, we call this "edge work," because the line between where (or who) you are now and where (or who) you want to be can often feel like a dangerous precipice of sorts--a cliff edge to a free fall, the line between the calm bank and the raging current, or simply a step into the dark. Even though you may truly want the change to happen, it feels "edgy" or uncomfortable or painful or even terrifying to move your life in that direction. It may be something as seemingly minor as losing those last 10 lbs or something as major as drastically altering your lifestyle for the sake of your values or fully surrendering your heart to that deep calling you know is yours. Whenever you're trying to make a change, and the change is particularly hard or resistant or you find yourself failing repeatedly in your attempts to move toward it, then you're up against an edge.

Our talk of edge work reminded me of these words from Jesus, "Whoever seeks to keep his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it" (Luke 17:33). I thought about how any move toward authentic new life involves a very real (and often very painful) kind of letting go, a death of what is, or of who we are now, to make room for the new life that is trying to emerge. The farther I go on this journey, the more deeply I realize that Abundant Life is not something you master; it's something you surrender yourself to. It's something you must die--that is, lay down your life, all that you are and all that you have--to possess. Only really, it possesses you.

As I wrote in Alone With God:

"Imagine a raging river full of white-water swirls and smooth dark boulders that cause the current to twist and churn. Now imagine yourself taking a running leap into the center of the current, plunging yourself into the torrent of rushing waters, and experiencing, as a result, the absolute loss of control over everything. In the beginning, that is how it feels to lose your life in Christ. It's a sort of "baptism unto death." But that is just the beginning.

Once caught in the flow, once the shock of the water enveloping you with such force begins to subside, you soon stop your struggle against the current, and, quite suddenly, you find that you are more alive than you have ever been. It is a wild life, even reckless, but the River flows with a purpose you can only faintly imagine, toward a goal that you cannot see. In joy, you give yourself to the River, and, at last, you rest...allowing this Power so much greater than yourself to take over the matter of your existence. And in that rest--the Sabbath Rest--you find yourself at peace, sustained and moved by the River to which you have given yourself, fully and without compromise." (Day 79)

May God grant us all the courage today, to jump.

A Powerful Example of Vision Mapping the Year Ahead

2009-12-28T06:06:00.002-06:00

After my recent post sharing my Vision Map for 2009 and encouraging others to create a similar map for their own lives in 2010, I received a note from Michael Winks, a man in Casanova, Virginia, in which he shared with me the vision map and goals he had created for himself in 2010. I thought it such a deep and artful example of how powerful this process can be, that I asked his permission to share his work here on my blog. He graciously agreed (thanks Michael):

2010 Resolutions

Arising early to hike the peaks and meet God on the side of the mountain. The sunrise touching it once more for the first time.
Knowing the rush of taking turns knee-down on the sportbike.
Unleashing everything I have on an overhang rock-climbing route. 5.12
The sea rejects all shackles, but I will fight it, and it will embrace me. Two miles.
Sparring and training -- having my hand wraps cut because they fused together.
Holding the oiled walnut stock while releasing the slide catch of my rifle.
Studying men who have lived lives of faith, justice, honor.

I desire to hear that melody again. Once more hear and embrace the roar of noble things, of God, of beauty, of passion, of all that which is good. I desire to dance in its strength, to let its current sweep me, awaken my heart, and to make me new.

Makes us new. Bring us life. Great battles rage.

I'll add to Michael's great work here these three quotes, which I pray will provoke us all to dream again, in a way that is more risk-filled and true than we have dared before.

There is something in every one of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide you will ever have. And if you cannot hear it, you will all of your life spend your days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls. ~ Howard Thurman

Tell me…do you not feel a spirit stirring within you that longs to know, to do, and to dare, to hold converse with the great world of thought, and hold before you some high and noble object to which the vigor of your mind and the strength of your arm may be given? Do you not have longings like these, which you breathe to no one, and which you feel must be heeded, or you will pass through life unsatisfied and regretful? I am sure you have them, and they will forever cling round your heart till you obey their mandate. They are the voices of that nature which God has given you, and which, when obeyed, will bless you and your fellow men. ~ James A. Garfield, in a letter to a friend

Let the wars begin, let my strength wear thin
Let my fingers crack, let my world fall apart
Train the monkeys on my back to fight
Let it start tonight
~ Switchfoot, "Let Your Love Be Strong"

The Gift You Bring

2009-12-24T06:41:00.002-06:00

One Christmas many years ago I found myself huddled in the cramped rear seat of an old bus bouncing through the German countryside on its way to Weisbaden. It was a horribly chilly winter night. Several of the windows toward the rear of the bus were busted out, and the other 28 people on board (all native-born Germans) were huddled up toward the front where it was warm. But as I was the last person to get on board, there was no more room in the “heated” section, so I was relegated to the arctic gale in the rear, among the baggage. Perhaps it wouldn’t have been so bad if Weisbaden hadn’t been a full 10 hours away. And even that might have been tolerable if I’d chosen a different wardrobe. Expecting a long ride through the night on a heated bus, I had chosen to wear only shorts and a t-shirt. My bags had been loaded onto a different vehicle, which was nowhere in sight.

It was a truly awful experience. I spent the first four hours rubbing my arms and legs to keep them from going numb in the cold, or else shifting piles of duffle bags to block the wind from hitting my skin. I was never quite successful at either task.

But then, sometime in the fifth hour of my ordeal, something extraordinary happened. A young German woman sitting up front (whom I had never met) noticed me all bunched up in the back in my pathetic shorts and t-shirt, and she quietly asked one of the men up front to carry her thin jean jacket to the back of the bus and offer it to me.

I literally wept with gratitude. No kidding. It didn’t matter that the jacket was far too small for me to put on, or that it provided only minimal insulation against the cold. I was just so moved that this stranger who didn’t even speak my language would extend such kindness to me at a time when I really needed it.

That was in 1990, and I still remember it as if it were yesterday. As I’ve reflected on that experience in the years since, I come to realize that the gift that woman brought me wasn’t really the jacket. The real gift was her kindness. I never even learned her name, but I will always remember the gift of her warm and caring heart.

During this season of giving, I think it's important to look beyond the stuff under the tree and think about the larger gifts you have both given and received in the past 12 months. Perhaps they came from strangers who crossed your path in a time of need, or perhaps they came from those who know you best. But whatever their source, their impact is unmistakable. They are the gifts that awaken our souls. They evoke tears of gratitude. They provoke us to think more deeply about who we are and what we offer the world. They change us for the better. These are not the sort of gifts you purchase at the store and wrap in a box. They come directly from the heart, and we give them to each other in myriad ways—through a warm embrace, a kind word, or just by our faithful presence in another person’s life.

As you reflect on the past 12 months, what are the biggest “soul gifts” you have received from others in your life? Who gave them to you? How have those gifts impacted you? As a part of your Christmas celebration this year, why not contact each of the people who come to mind and thank them personally for the unique gift they have brought into your life?

Now consider the other side of the equation. What is the deeper “soul gift” you have brought to others in the past 12 months—that life-affirming treasure that flows naturally out of you when you are at your best? To whom have you given that gift this year? How has the gift impacted their lives? If you have trouble identifying the gift you bring, consider asking the people closest to you to name it for you. You’ll be surprised how quickly they are able to do just that.

The presents we exchange at Christmas are merely symbols of a deeper gift that’s far richer and more lasting. So as you celebrate Christmas this year, remember this: The real gift you bring to the people in your life…is you.

Reading the Signs of Season's Change

2009-12-22T06:57:00.002-06:00

Brisk wind this morning. My front lawn, trimmed neat and clear under yesterday's sun, is now overrun with snow drifts made of maple leaves. It is just one sign among many of the season's change, even here in the South where such transitions are more subtle. The temperature dips of course, but it isn't only that. The birdsong has grown thin. Orion drifts higher in the night sky than in the summer months, when he can scarcely be found at these latitudes. Even the air feels different on my skin. The scent of the world has changed.

This month also marks the emergence of new seasons for many of the souls I know. Some are moving from a season of scarcity to a season of advantage...others from a season of pain to one of healing and reclamation...others from a long season of hiddenness to one of prominence and impact...and still others from a season of ease and learning to a season of refining, like gold in fire.

To know the season you are in, all you have to do is notice the signs. But when seasons change, the more difficult part is this: To stop resisting the new season you are in, and choose it.

"Where, except in the present, can the Eternal be met?"--C. S. Lewis

"...To Cast Their Best Upon Thy Fire"

2009-12-17T06:36:00.002-06:00

"What makes thy being a bliss shall then make mine
For I shall love as thou, and love in thee;
Then shall I have whatever I desire,
My every faintest wish being all divine;
Power thou wilt give me to work mightily,
Even as my Lord, leading thy low men nigher,
with dance and song to cast their best upon thy fire."

--Diary of An Old Soul, December, Stanza 10, by George MacDonald

George MacDonald (1824-1905) was a Scottish preacher and writer of more than 52 volumes of fantasy, poetry and other works exploring Christian faith. Instrumental in the conversion of C.S. Lewis, MacDonald has become widely known and revered for his depth of insight and practice regarding what it means to live freely from your heart, and the joy and love that spring from an intentional daily intimacy with God. Late in his life he ran in some noteworthy literary circles: Mark Twain, Lewis Carol, and Ralph Waldo Emerson all counted him as friends. G.K. Chesterton once cited MacDonald as one of the three or four greatest men of the 19th Century.

And yet, MacDonald experienced failure after failure throughout most of his life. He suffered from tuberculosis, suffered the loss of his wife and four of his children, was widely rejected as an author until his final decades, and as a result, lived in poverty most of his days.

The life of the truly free does not always look the way we expect it should. As Jesus said, "A man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions" (Luke 12:15). To set you free, Freedom will intentionally offend your ego, time and again, to sever you from the chains of such a false presumption.

What if the thing you're struggling against is actually the door to Freedom?

Dangerous Radical Free Flow

2009-12-15T06:43:00.003-06:00

This is my Vision Map for 2009. (Click on it and it will explode.) I created this along with a cadre of men I led through the BraveHeart Intensive early in the year. Every man creates a map like this and we use it as a tool to access each man's deeper passions, values and God-inspired desires. I use it, also, to help me name a Theme around which to build the coming year.

My theme for the year was Dangerous, Radical Free Flow. I wanted to immerse myself in the "Wild Good" of the Spirit of God, to follow the Spirit boldly and immediately, moment to moment...to find the paths, the choices, the places where God's love beckoned me out of my comfort zone and into a Dangerous, Radical, Free Flow of Life. To inspire my soul toward this end, I meditated on a video that captured for me the wildness of my desire. I even created a Ning site to find others of my tribe who desired the same. (Are you one of the Dangerous Radical Free?)

And now, it's December. As I look back over the past 12 months, I ask the inevitable question: How'd I do?

My honest answer: Not bad. I did press in to many arenas more boldly than I ever have before. Some of them led to success, some to failure, but all of the paths I took were transformational, both for me and those around me. I sought out and dove into the Wild Good, many times, opting not to play it safe, to take the more dangerous way--not for the sake of danger but for the sake of the True Life found in God. And yet, at times I still held back...pressing in, but not all the way; daring to act, but not as boldly as I knew I could.

This much is certain: I went much further for having a theme than I would have gone without it. Tonight I'll be meeting with a new cadre of men to choose a new life theme for 2010. I already have a sense of what that theme will be, something to do with the cultivation of joy in my life. What about you? Do you know what you want the theme of your life to be in 2010? Here are a few questions that may help you name it:

What would you love to see happen in your life in 2010?
What struggle or obstacle would you love to finally overcome?
What new territory needs to be explored?
What are the things you must do in 2010 to move your life forward in the direction of your deepest heart desires?
Based on your responses to these questions, what do you want the Theme of your life to be in 2010?

Feel free to post your thoughts in the comments...

When Worlds Collide

2009-12-10T06:16:00.002-06:00

We are so quick to judge...so painfully quick to flip the switch and watch another soul twitch and writhe under the electric righteousness of our reasoned assessment. Only it is not Reason at all that makes us think we know the deep truth of another person's heart. It is rather, I think, a kind of bravado, born of fear, which itself springs from our own penchant for self-rejection. We do not give love to others because we have not yet learned how to receive God's love for us, and call it true.

Yet "to the pure, all things are pure" (Titus 1:15). I love Merton's comment on this: "I realize what we all are. And if only everybody could realize this! But it cannot be explained. There is no way of telling people that they are all walking around shining like the sun!" And Lewis, too, when he writes: "There are no 'ordinary' people. You have never talked to a mere mortal."

We are, each one of us, a universe of wonder, deeply flawed to be sure, unfinished certainly...but still a master work of art of God's own making. We are with Him, partnered, co-creating who we are and will be. As such, we are tourists to one another. I do not know what lies in your deep heart any more than I know what it is to be Nepalese or see the world through the eyes of a Masai tribesman in South Africa.

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:29-32)

May God help us all be better tourists with one another, especially when our worlds collide.

Raising Up Tribal Leaders

2009-12-08T06:24:00.002-06:00

The culture has gone tribal. Have you noticed? (If not, read this book. Watch this video. And this one too. It's important for all of us to know the times in which we find ourselves.) These are exciting times for leaders and systems thinkers. We are in the middle of a dramatic cultural shift, brought on by the infusion of the internet into our collective bloodstream, coupled with the failure of the (newly) old hierarchical systems that have not delivered the quality of life and purpose and meaning that they promised. Some would even call it revolution.

This change is obvious to most of us. But, ironically, there is one group (in truth, a tribe unto themselves) who are slow to see the shift, and may never see it, not even after their own kingdoms fail: Our current leaders. Not all, of course. But many in positions of power and influence within the hierarchical cultural paradigm do not see the cultural transformation happening all around them. They are locked into a current way of seeing the world, and cannot see beyond it. They see things like The Beckoning of Lovely or Nerdfighteria or the rise of Ning-based communities in general and do not recognize the implications of what this means for us as a culture. And what it means for leadership in this brave new world.

Seth Godin has it right. The culture is forming into tribes and those tribes are on the hunt for leaders of a different kind...leaders whose mandate is not to stand above and point the way, but to stand beneath and hold up the community he or she serves. It is leadership built on right-brain skills rather than left (see Daniel Pink's terrific book, A Whole New Mind, for more on this), on the capacity to listen and follow more than the capacity to know and direct.

So those of us who are tasked, by profession or calling, to develop new leaders, must face the fact that our old systems for raising up and training leaders no longer apply. The question is no longer, "How do we make a company president or a church pastor (in the old organizational sense)?" But rather, "How do we create a tribal leader?" The change in terminology alone points to a radically different approach.

The leader-developers who will succeed in this new venture are the ones who are most willing to chuck their sacred cows (I speak here of structures and methodologies, not of core values or beliefs), and take on the Beginner's Mind, to humble themselves and let the tribe they wish to serve teach them the sort of leader it wants for itself...and then create new approaches for developing people into that.

Who We Might Have Been

2009-12-06T10:04:00.002-06:00

Hot coffee in hand. Leather-bound journal, and pen. The candle is lit for my predawn meditation. I lean out into the world and think of all the people who never spend time in this way; who never slow down enough to see anything clearly. As Saint Augustine said: "People travel to wonder at the height of the mountains, at the huge waves of the seas, at the long course of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars, and yet they pass by themselves without wondering."

My thoughts run today toward the sorrow of unlived lives. The people we could have been, might have been, wanted to be...if only something or someone somewhere along the way hadn't jacked us up...if only we'd been encouraged to live free, given half a chance to dare to believe...if only...

What is your "If only..."? What is your unlived life?

I'm reminded of the words of George Eliot, so simple and profound they inspired the dedication at the start of my novel, Waymaker: "It's never too late to be who you might have been." I dare to believe that is true, new every morning.

The light of morn is still not upon me, but I know the clouds are there, holding their collective breath, their artful forms waiting to be awakened by the gold warmth of dawn. They declare the glory of God regardless of who is watching. They do not care whether you see them. But still, they need the sun's fire to give them life, to make them dance.

May you feel the heat of God today, awakening your soul to the life that might yet be yours.

One-Line Movie Reviews

2009-12-04T10:30:00.000-06:00

Somebody recently asked me what movies I've seen lately, and I honestly couldn't think of a single one (which may be a commentary on the quality of movies these days, or on my memory; I'm not sure which). So I went to Netflix and looked them up. Here's my one line review of the last several I've seen:

Everything Is Illuminated -- Good, interesting, foreign-type film, stars Elijah Wood

The Mutant Chronicles -- Do not dare see this. Spare yourself. I still can't believe I watched the whole thing.

Knowing -- Pretty good. Better than I expected, actually, given that it stars Nicholas Cage and I don't like his acting much, and his voice makes me want to rip my ears off.

Battlestar Galactica: The Plan -- Hate to say it, but I was disappointed by this one. Not up to BSG standards. See previous rant on the subject.

Mirrors -- Horror flick. I don't like horror flicks. I didn't realize it was a horror flick when I rented it. Watched it anyway. Reconfirmed that fact that I don't like horror flicks.

Darfur Now -- Definitely worth watching. Like, Now.

Blindness -- Interesting but very disturbing film. There's a graphic rape scene in it. I couldn't watch that part, but the very fact it was in the story line made me feel uneasy for days.

Snatch -- No.

Inkheart -- Good, clean family fun.

House of D -- Take it or leave it. Mostly, I'd leave it.

Once -- Another foreign-ish, indie film. I really liked it. Slow paced, but interesting. Good music.

Push -- Great. Right up my sci-fi geek alley.

Burn After Reading -- Off beat, weird. Dark humor. Not bad.

He's Just Not That Into You -- Good one.

State of Play -- Good thriller flick.

Wolverine -- People say it sucked, but I heard that so much that by the time I got it I was expecting something awful. I was delightfully surprised. It's much better than awful.

On The Verge of a Breakthrough

2009-12-03T09:14:00.002-06:00

by Guest Blogger Shannon Bruce, my friend and fellow life coach.

Do you sense you’re on the verge of a breakthrough, as if something new is about to emerge? Are you overwhelmed by the internal chaos, unable to stay focused? Perhaps external factors, like the demands of your family, expectations of others and financial obstacles are clouding your vision, keeping you from finding your true path?

You might be shocked by what I’m about to say because it’s counter to what you are probably feeling inside and seeing around you. The truth is that the internal chaos and clouding of your vision are good signs that you are evolving to a new level, where more of your authentic life and bigger game live.

Can this be? Really? I know it’s hard to believe especially when you are far from the internal peace you long for and your current impact is less than what you imagined you’d offer to others. To put this in perspective, think about the natural evolution of the caterpillar who goes through a painful struggle and fight to become the beautiful butterfly it’s meant to be.

This powerful reminder of nature’s breakthrough process is true for you as a human, as long as you make the decision to say “yes." The only difference between you and the butterfly is the power to choose. The caterpillar automatically goes through the process without question, while you on the other hand have the right to decide.

This point of choice is a crossroads of sorts. You can choose to go back to the comfort zone where you know what to expect out of life even though it may not serve your bigger game, or you can say “yes” to the life you desire and are destined to live.

When you say “yes,” here are three tips that will help you jump into your bigger game:

Be prepared for the discomfort. As you let go of the behaviors, activities and thoughts that keep you stuck, you will feel unsettled, and perhaps angry or disappointed. This is a normal part of the process of letting go so you can get beyond your comfort zone into what’s coming. Fear is also a part of the experience so expect it. And to move through it, remind yourself that courage means “acting in spite of the fear.”
Find a mentor. This is a wild adventure that you don’t want to go on alone. Find others who are committed to living authentically and get support from them. This is the time to find your inner circle and connect with them as they remind you of who you are and what’s possible as you stand firm on the path forward.
Focus on the “what” rather than the “how.” Begin to dream about what you desire on the other side of the breakthrough. How will your life be different? What will you be experiencing internally? What is happening externally? Keep your thoughts here because as soon as you attempt to figure out “how” to make it happen it will shut down your ability to vision and dream. Connecting with your heart’s desires about what’s on the other side will give you the courage to stay the course and help you persevere.

This is not an easy process and it’s worth the investment. What awaits you on the other side is the freedom, joy and life that comes as you flit and float about as the beautiful butterfly you are meant to be.

Will you say “yes” to becoming a butterfly? Remember Helen Keller’s words, “Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.”

Feel free to share how you navigate life when you’re going through this transition phase. Share your comments below or at Shannon's blog.

Soul Fuel

2009-12-01T08:42:00.002-06:00

There are currently three daily practices that I consider essential to keeping my soul fueled and my heart fully awake and alive: Spending time alone with God in the morning; eating healthily and exercising my body during the day; and practicing my guitar in the evening before bed.

Unfortunately, right now I am doing only one of these well. My time alone with God each morning feels like breathing to me; it's so automatic I no longer have to think about doing it. I just do it.

The other two practices--living healthily and playing my guitar--feel more like war. Distractions, interruptions, waning motivation, frustration, and a host of other "-tion" words like that, all conspire on a daily basis to disconnect me from what's important to the vitality of my soul. Instead, I chase after the trivial and the urgent. And, at day's end, not surprisingly, my soul feels overdrawn. I actually start to die a little each day I don't live true to my heart.

Jesus once asked, "What does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul?" (Mark 8:36). I'm reminded again today of the imperative necessity of refusing to sacrifice the life and vitality of your soul for the urgent or the trivial. The spiritual practices that renew & refuel your soul are not luxuries; they are essential to life. In fact, without them, you soon find yourself in the numbing and confusing place of looking as though you are still living, but having lost all connection with what "being fully alive" is, or even means.

Don't be tempted by the shiny apple
Don't you eat of its bitter fruit
Hunger only for a taste of justice
Hunger only for a world of truth
'Cause all that you have is your soul
--"All That You Have is Your Soul" by Tracy Chapman

What "daily practices" do you do to keep your soul refueled and fully alive? How do you deal with the inevitable distractions that try to draw your focus away to the trivial and the urgent?

What Will You Sacrifice for a Steady Paycheck?

2009-11-16T06:04:00.000-06:00

SoulPancake recently asked, "When was the last time you cast your dreams aside for a steady paycheck?"

The responses tell the story.

Read them here.

How many people choose security over LIFE! I'm reminded of the words of Helen Keller:

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure."

What do you think? Why does pursuing your creative passion and pursuing financial stability always seem to be at odds with each other? Which path have you chosen to follow, and why?

(image "swirls-to-suits" by Matt Goold, courtesy of SoulPancake)

What'cha Readin'?

2009-11-13T06:57:00.002-06:00

My friend Don recently asked me what I've been reading lately...or more specifically "What's smacking you in the head and the heart?" I thought I'd share my reply:

Right now I'm reading Presence, a book about how profound change happens in people, organizations and nations. Absolutely fascinating stuff. That's where my faith is taking me a lot these days, gleaning/filtering deep learning & wisdom from sources many followers of Christ tend shy away from. I love it.

I also recently read Switch: How to Make Change Happen When Change is Hard, which is not actually out yet (I got an advance copy), and which was downright brilliant. I promised not to write anything about what's in it until Jan 2010, but I'm sure you're noticing the theme. :) I'm exploring the mechanics of life transformation in order to understand better and be more intentional about bringing it to people, both in- and outside the 4 walls of the church.

On a completely different note, I recently finished The Sparrow, a sci-fi novel, which was an absolutely stunning exploration of what happens when faith in God is tested to the extreme. The protagonist in the story is a Jesuit priest on a "first contact" mission to an alien world. I'm looking forward to reading book 2 in the series (Children of God) as soon as I'm done with Presence.

A few books I ended up skimming for their lackluster content: Wild Goose Chase (which is an okay book but is largely written to 20-somethings in the early stages of their journey. It wasn't challenging enough for me); and The Leadership Engine (which is a fine exploration of the "factory/assembly line" model of leadership development, but I believe that model is well on its way out, and being replaced by a "tribal" model).

What books have been "smacking you in the head and the heart lately?"

I Don't Know, What are YOU Doing?! Geez...

2009-11-12T10:30:00.006-06:00

You know what my problem is? I never learned to think in soundbites. I don't mine "nuggets" of insight or appreciation or observation that can be easily passed along in 300 word blog entries or 2:27 minute videos on Youtube; I excavate entire mountains. Perhaps (he realizes suddenly...duh!) that's why I write books. I think in books.

So this whole TwitFaceBlog thing has me stymied most of the time. I don't know where to begin. Or where to stop. Am I the only one? Hello?

I was encouraged to hear Donald Miller say at a conference last week that it's a lot more work for him to write a single blog post than it is to write an entire chapter of a book. Hah! So there! If NY Times bestselling author Donald Miller has trouble figuring out this whole webernet presence thing, perhaps it's not so nuts that I do too.

What about you? Do you wrestle with how to engage authentically with a blog or facebook or twitter? What have you found that works for you? I'm all ears on this one.

p.s. -- the irony has not escaped me that this post is under 300 words.

This Plan Sucks

2009-11-10T17:24:00.003-06:00

I finally watched Battlestar Galactica's "The Plan" a few nights ago, an I gotta tell ya', I really wanted to like it. I really really did. I'm a huge BSG fan(atic) and have loved studying the craft of storytelling at the virtual feet of Ronald D. Moore.

But this Plan sucked.

Oh where to begin? Ok, first, it had holes, and most unfortunately in this case, the holes had names. Where was the President for frak's sake? Not a single scene. Granted, this was about the cylons not the colonists but c'mon...a story where one of the chief antagonists (from the cylon perspective) never even makes an appearance? And where was the 3, Diana? A brief blip of her from a previous episode and that's it? Guys, if you couldn't get all the key players on the stage, why'd you put on the play?

Plus, the story was, at best, lackluster. A retrospective, maybe. Hardly up to the standards I've come to expect from Ron.

Now, here's the Plan I would have loved to have seen:

Start at the arrival of the final five, during the first cylon war. Show how they arrived, how the cylons received them, how they brokered the deal with the cylons to stop the war, how the cylons went on to become human(esque?). Show us the genesis of the dynamic between Cavil and his creators (especially Ellen), how the Plan first emerged in Cavil's mind. And for God's sake, show us Daniel!...and the dynamic between him and Cavil that led to Daniel's demise. Show us how the other cylon models were made to know nothing of the final 5, how Cavil got away with all that. Show us how, when and where Cavil placed the final 5 on Caprica (or other worlds) and why he chose the locations he did. Show us how Cavil convinced the rest to commit genocide.

And once the genocide was decided, do NOT tell us that the Plan was to wipe out the entire human race. It's MUCH more interesting to hear that the cylon's intention was to keep a portion of humanity alive, under control, as test subjects. The cylons couldn't procreate, remember? They needed humans to figure out how to fix that. So they wanted some humans to survive...it's just that they didn't expect Galactica to survive. So they were trying to destroy the Galactica, so they could collect the rest of the humans and use them as they pleased. (That would also explain, by the way, why there were survivors on Caprica that the cylons didn't seem overly concerned with wiping out.)

And while you're at it, please, oh please, tell us why the episode "33" happened the way it did. For frak's sake, why 33 minutes? What took 33 minutes? It's crazymaking.

I did appreciate some of the other story holes you filled in. Like with the Simons, and the Leobens. But the 5s (poor Aaron Doral) was underserved in a big way. I think it was a mistake to make him a "dunce." These were the most advanced machines ever conceived. Making one an idiot served only to make them all seem trite. You could've and should've crafted a story for the 5 that explained his actions from a place of brilliance rather than stupidity.

BSG, as a series, is brilliant. Honestly, the most brilliant television show I've ever seen. That's what makes The Plan so much more of a disappointment.

Rant complete. End of line.

Quick Update on the New Website

2009-11-08T21:50:00.006-06:00

Here's a quick peek behind the curtain of Josh Tilton's latest stuff on the new michaelwarden.com website.

This is just a little snippet from the page, but the unveiling will come in just a few months.

Click on the photo to see a bigger image.

Go Josh go!

Freshurious

2009-11-03T06:43:00.002-06:00

Something is changing. A veil is falling. A mantle is lifting. My life has an unexpected fresh scent, like the air after a sudden Spring shower. There is sorrow in it as well--a leaving of sorts. A letting go and setting aside. No--this: A laying down of the burden. Even such a weight as I have lovingly carried for my mom for so long must be grieved.

I was sharing this with my friends at Brilliant Chaos Online last week and told them that I needed a new word to describe this transition. After much verbal wrangling, we came up with "freshurious"...an adjective describing the fresh sense I have of the world, my curiosity for all this newness, subtle but profound, and my sense of sureness that all of it, however unfamiliar, is right and good.

So it's definitely a freshurious time for me. And I am also reminded by this word of another core reality of life: that everything is developmental. Everything that happens in our lives, whether we label it good or bad, presents an opportunity to choose transformation. To be more than you were before it came.

In my desire to experience transformation in the midst of my grief and the changing winds of my life, I am collecting questions to explore, questions that begin to approach the heart of the change that may be trying to happen. Maybe one or more of these will strike a chord with your own life as well:

What kind of life would you want for yourself if no one else got to vote?
What is your heart's desire for how your story will unfold from here?
What is the untold storyline within your soul that most wants to be released?
What do you need to let go of in order to create what's next?
What does it mean to be dangerous, radical & free now?

I'm curious--how would you answer these questions for yourself? Pick one (or more) and feel free to share in the comments. I'm looking here, and invite you to join me.

I'm Back...and this is Cool!

2009-10-29T06:39:00.001-05:00

I'm gingerly stepping back into my work after taking the past week off to be with family, and already I'm feeling the excitement about all that's happening right now. I'll fill you in on all of it in the coming posts, but one cool thing in my sites right now is The Destiny Project course, which is about to take a leap into a larger sphere of impact.

For those who don't know, the DP (as we affectionately call it around here) is an 8 week communal journey for women to help them name and design their life around their unique core purpose & identity as followers of Christ. The whole thing happens via teleconference, so women get to go through this journey together from the coziness of their own home. It's a powerfully transformational experience. Here's what just a few of women who've taken the course have to say about it:

"Thank you so much for the opportunity to experience God's love in such an amazing and transformational experience. I will treasure the eight weeks and the beautiful women who participated with me in the Destiny Project for the rest of my life. The Destiny Project is an important part of God's plan for my life. Through this journey, I am maturing and growing into the beautiful and spirit led warrior for Christ that He is calling me to be."—Denise Delacruz, IL

"Being a part of the Destiny Project for women has been one of the most transformative experiences of my life. I’ve achieved success in the past and accomplished many things but it was always measured by what I was “doing” and achieving. I needed coaching on the “being” part of me, and the Destiny Project offered this in an amazing way. I have learned how to be present in my life and I now come from a filled and peaceful place. Through understanding my identity in Christ and my unique life’s mission, I have a sense of power that comes from place of deep peace and rest. What I do now is aligned with who God has created me to be and what His plans are for my life."—Kimberly Maeder, TX

(You can read more testimonials here.)

All that to say, God is all over this thing. We currently have 7 facilitators for the course from all around the country. Each one is an experienced certified coach and devoted Christ follower. And we want to expand the reach of the course much much farther. But we've had some trouble with that for a couple of reasons. One, we're committed to finding only the best facilitators for this work, and so we've been careful (read that: slow) to bring on new facilitators until we're certain they're a good fit. And two, the nature of the course works best with small groups (6-9 women per course), so we have limited bandwidth to accommodate all the women that want to take the course.

But after months of prayer and conversation and research, we're finally seeing a way forward to expand the reach of the course and impact many more women in 2010. No need to go into detail at this point, but the broad strokes are that we've settled on a way to restructure to allow our network of facilitators to expand significantly, and we've found some awesome contacts out there who are raving fans of the work and have access to larger groups of women nationwide. We're also planning to create a retreat version of the course for women who would prefer to go through the experience in that context.

I'm excited about the possibilities and welcome your prayers as our team takes the DP to the next level in the coming months.

Oh, and to see a list of some of our facilitators, just click here. (The bio for our newest facilitator, Debbie Starr, is not yet posted. But you'll love her; she's awesome!)

On Mom's Passing...

2009-10-27T06:39:00.000-05:00

Thanks to all for the amazing love and support my family and I have felt this past week since my Mom's passing. One friend of mine commented this past week how grief can be such a "sweet sorrow." In Mom's case, that's certainly true. She was ready to go home; had been for some time.

I'm stretching a bit out of my comfort zone here, but wanted to share with you all something I wrote in my journal the morning after Mom passed, perhaps as a part of my own grief process:

My mother died on a sunny Saturday afternoon.

10-17-09
Time of death: 12:30 pm

It was Autumn, which in Texas means simply that it was not as hot, and the skies were very blue that day, without a single cloud. I noticed this, paid special attention, wondering how God would set the stage for Mom's crossing to Him. I know He thought about such things for the simple reason that I did, and how could I be more compassionate, more sensitive to my mother's circumstance than God is? I liked the clear skies, the lack of wind, the not too hot. Mom hated weather of any kind--even a stiff breeze could keep her home when she had errands to run. And so He made it very still, and swept the sky of every hint of rain. The sun was high in all his glory, the welcoming door flung open wide. He was ready for his little girl to come home.

I was happy for her.

I did not know this at first, not until several hours after she had passed and I could find a name for the tears rolling down my cheeks. But I was very happy for my mother's death. Not the death itself--that part is sad beyond explaining, like seeing your mother disappear behind a door as it closes, knowing it will never be opened again. But my loss is her joy, and this is what makes me happy, because I know what lives on the other side, and, more importantly, Who.

The dementia that for so many months had ravaged her mind and stole her dignity, is gone. Her mind is clear again. And she can hear! My mother, who had been deaf for decades, and hated every second of that state...can hear again. Who knows what a joy that must be to her.

No more dizziness, or weakness in her limbs. No more disease at all. My Father's little girl, the one who was my mother here on earth, is finally free. Finally home.

At last, she knows.

And I am happy for her.

This is Mom's song to me--a poem of her that has become very dear in recent weeks and now, I know, will be with me for life.

Farewell Letter

She wrote me a letter after her death,
and I remember a kind of happy light
as I sat by the rose tree
on her old bench by the back door
so surprised to receive it
wondering what she would say
looking up before I could open it
and laughing to myself in silent expectation.

Dear son
it is time for me to leave you
the words you are used to hearing,
are no longer mine to give.
You can only hear those words of motherly
affection now from your own mouth
and only for those who stand
motherless before you.

As for me I must forsake adulthood
and be bound gladly to a new childhood.
You must understand
this apprenticeship demands
of me an elemental innocence
from everything I have ever held in my hands.

I know your generous soul
is well able to let me go
You will in the end be happy to know
my God was true
and that after so many years
of loving you so long
I find myself in the wide, infinite mercy of being
mothered myself.

P.S. All of your intuitions were true.

(David Whyte – A great poet. I highly recommend his work. Get it here.)

Seth Godin on Tribal Leadership

2009-10-20T06:29:00.000-05:00

Of course, I can't talk about tribal leadership without talking Seth Godin...

See previous post, and this TED vid, in which Seth explains what a tribe is, why they matter, why anyone can lead a tribe, and why you should be doing so now.

The way we create change in the world, says Seth, has changed. We used to do it through factories & industry, and then, later, through marketing and television. But now, we create change through leadership. In other words, through you.

Intrigued? You should be. Enjoy!

What are you taking away from watching Seth's talk? Post a comment, I'd love to hear from you.

The 5 Stages of a Tribe

2009-10-15T06:10:00.001-05:00

Now here's a great TED talk that any leader of groups would benefit from checking out. In it, David Logan (a USC faculty member, best-selling author, and management consultant) shares research that identifies the 5 Stages of a Tribe...with "tribes" defined as groups of 20 to 150 people that in one way or another "do life" together...perhaps through work, through church, through neighborhood, or through affinity (as in the "Dippers" tribe on YouTube. Warning: this is funny, but also gross.) Check it...

The 5 Stages Logan identifies:

Stage 1: Life Sucks! -- When people form tribes around their common disdain for life.

Stage 2: My Life Sucks! -- When people form tribes around their common hatred of their own lives or situations.

Stage 3: I'm great; you're not. -- The most abundant tribal form, common in executive offices, bowling teams and Neighborhood parties...anytime people gather around some common quality or experience but focus their energy on comparison & competition with other tribe members.

Stage 4: We're great! -- When people transcend individualism and see themselves as a part of a positive thriving cooperative community.

Stage 5: Life is great! -- When Stage 4 tribes move past the awesomeness of their own community to focus on creating beauty in the world. These tribes, says Logan, represent only about 2% of all tribes on earth and are the ones that create the most positive change in the world.

I was immediately struck by some personal observations while watching Logan's presentation:

I have never been a part of a Stage 1 or Stage 2 tribe. Have you?
We're all looking for a Stage 4 tribe. Very few of us ever find it.
Although we're all looking for a Stage 4 tribe, what the world really needs are a lot more Stage 5 tribes.
Churches, Synagogues, Mosques, temples are all supposed to be hubs for Stage 4/Stage 5 tribes. Most, however, are probably Stage 3 or even Stage 2. Which begs the questions: "How can we move an entire tribe (or network of tribes) from Stage 3 to Stage 4? And then from Stage 4 to Stage 5?" To me, this is the essence of the goal we have in mind when we talk about "culture change"--whether that's in a family, a community, a church, or a nation.
I am currently a part of at least two Stage 5 tribes. And for that, I am extraordinarily thankful.

What stage is your tribe in?

7 Common "Ego Traps" for Leaders: Trap #7

2009-10-13T06:14:00.002-05:00

Ego Trap #7: "Power Trippin'"

Well, pretty much no leader I know would believe he or she is on a power trip. But then, I guess that's what makes it a trap.

The trap might be easier to connect with if we took out the word "power" and replaced it with "influence," "impact," or even "leadership." See, the trap is not to have influence or impact--we all want those as leaders. (Heck, that's what we're in it for!) The trap comes when we get a little too enamored with the level of influence we have. We see that our words carry weight; we notice how people revere us, how they really stop and listen when we have something to say. And we start trippin' on that. It's a rush, after all, when people genuinely respect you, when they look to you for leadership. But it starts moving into the trap zone when you start getting a little too juiced by your own brilliance. Instead of loving the people you lead, you start loving the effect you have on them. And that is a very very dangerous and potentially destructive road. Just ask Jim Jones.

As with all the other traps, avoiding this one all comes back to humility. Leadership is not about you; it's about them. The best leaders know that leadership is about serving, not ruling. And if you happen to be a leader with a lot of influence, what of it? In the end, your leadership will not be measured by how much influence you had over how many people, but by what you did with the influence you were given.

The Word Within, Chapter 1, Part 3

2009-09-04T16:02:00.005-05:00

The Word Within, Chapter 1, part 3 is now online at the Pearlsong blog.

As requested, paragraph markers have been added.

Let me know what you think!

CLICK HERE...

7 Common "Ego Traps" for Leaders: Trap #6

2009-09-01T06:59:00.002-05:00

Ego Trap #6: "I work hard at what I do, and I deserve the financial rewards that come with it."

OK, that's true. No argument here. But something happens to some leaders around the issue of money & possessions...something that goes beyond a healthy sense of the value you bring as a leader. We've all seen it...with the leaders of Enron, for example, and other CEOs who've been caught money grabbing even when the thousands who work for them are losing their shirts. We've also seen it with some religious leaders, who milk followers for donations that ultimately go toward a yacht or a second home in the Bahamas. Something about money, or the love of it, ensnares the ego of some--and blinds them to the ludicrous hypocrisy that takes over their lives.

From the book, Heroic Leadership, I learned of a story that the Jesuits use in training their novices. The story is about three different men who each come into a huge windfall of money, and their subsequent reactions to the influx of such prodigious wealth. All three feel uncomfortable with their new status at first, but soon the money begins to intoxicate their desires and before long it begins to feel impossible for the men to imagine their life without the money. The first two men do little or nothing to try to rid themselves of the money that now has them in its grip. And, as this story is a lesson in piety, we expect the third man to deny the seduction of the money by giving it all away to the poor and rejoicing over his deliverance from the trap.

But he doesn't give the money to the poor. In fact, he doesn't get rid of the money at all. Instead, he gets rid of his attachment to it. He dies to self (ego) "in such a way that there remains no inclination either to keep the acquired money or to dispose of it."

The point of the parable? The money is not the issue. The attachment to it is.

The Jesuits call it cultivating an attitude of "indifference." I might also call it being "unattached" or "holding things loosely." I actually love the imagery conjured by the words: Free vs. Attached. I saw a movie recently, called Jumper, in which the main character could instantly transport anywhere in the world just by picturing the location in his mind. The only way to trap him was to physcially "attach" him to a huge structure, like a building--something that was too weighty for him to transport with him. He was literally held captive by the things he was attached to.

There's nothing inherently wrong with getting paid well for what you do, or enjoying the benefits of that wealth. But there is something very wrong with needing to be rich or using wealth as definitive proof that you are a success. If our culture has a dominant ego trap, this is it...which makes it the most difficult one for us to see in ourselves. So before we go pointing fingers at the rich and saying they're the problem, keep in mind that compared to the rest of the world, you are the rich. And besides, you don't have to be wealthy to be ruled by the love of money.

The Apostle Paul spoke about this trap in a letter he wrote to the church in Philippi:

"For I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:11-13).

I think Paul is describing what it looks like to live free...unattached to either riches or poverty, to either fame or obscurity. But in whatever circumstance, fully abandoned to God, who alone is the Source of true freedom.

"For if the Son will set you free, you will be free indeed" (John 8:16).

The Word Within, Chater 1, Part 2

2009-08-28T17:03:00.004-05:00

The Word Within, Chapter 1, part 2 is now online at the Pearlsong blog.

Let me know what you think!

http://tinyurl.com/mvxacw

7 Common "Ego Traps" for Leaders: Trap #5

2009-08-25T06:28:00.002-05:00

Ego Trap #5: "They like me! They really, really like me!"

"Don't confuse fame with success," wrote the late humorist Erma Bombeck, "Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other." Wise advice. And yet, confusing fame and success has become a seductively easy trap to fall into these days, particularly for leaders, who too-often exchange their natural desire to influence others with an ego-driven craving for fame, and particularly in our culture, which has come to believe the ridiculous notion that popularity and significance actually amount to the same thing.

So it's seductive, this drive to be recognized, to be seen and admired, to be followed on Twitter or asked to speak or write or teach or preach or whatever it is you famously do for large groups of people you don't actually know, and who don't actually know you. Fame makes you feel smart, like you got something right. Curiously, it can even make you feel like you're making a difference...though fame in itself is no proof of that. Fame is attention, nothing more. And though it can be helpful in a good cause, it is not essential to greatness. Plenty of powerful and lasting good has been done in the world while nobody was looking.

Leaders who fall into this trap usually don't realize it's happening at first. Attention comes to them--who knows why? Fame is like weather, like wind, and just as fickle--and more and more people begin asking them things, inviting them to things, wanting to get near them, to hear them or see them or read their latest post, and they quite naturally begin to think that they have something special, and people see it, and want it. And they're quite right. They do have something special, and it is wonderful that people see it, and that it helps them in some way.

But then it happens. You move from appreciating the attention you are getting to wanting it. And then, craving it. You worry about losing it. You worry about getting more. At that point, your leadership stops being about anything other than you...but it's hard to admit that because you're out there "serving" so many people, bringing them what they want, what really helps them. But really, if you're honest, you see it. You're really not doing it for them--not primarily anyway. You're mostly just serving your ego.

Fame is a drug to the ego, an addictive one at that, and if you let your ego get hooked by it, it will eventually hollow out your soul. That doesn't at all mean that I think no one should ever be famous, or leverage what fame they have in service of the world. But I do think any leader would be a fool not to take a long hard look at what's really driving them to "reach a larger audience," and to always be mindful that the ego is brilliant at hiding its true motives behind altruistic smokescreens.

Big Announcement: Novel #3 Will Be Blogged Live!

2009-08-21T12:55:00.008-05:00

You heard right! I've decided to post the entire 3rd book of The Pearlsong Refounding on my Pearlsong blog, uploading a new entry week by week, as it is being written!

If you've read the first two installments--Gideon's Dawn, and Waymaker--then I know you're as anxious as I am to see the third and final book of the trilogy--The Word Within--completed and published. And I will certainly still publish the book, when it is complete.

But I've decided to take it one step farther, and actually publish the book online as it's being written as well. That way, anyone who doesn't want to wait for the 3rd book to be published in book form can read it on the web, right along with me as I create it.

Of course, this endeavor comes with a few warnings, and an invitation. First, the warnings:

Since the online version of the book is a work in progress, you read at your own risk! It's likely I will go back to sections I've posted and recraft them for various reasons. I may even delete or add new scenes altogether. Which leads me to this:
While the book will be mostly written chronologically, there will likely be times when I will post a scene that actually goes in an earlier part of the narrative. This sometimes happens when in later scenes I realize I need to tell more of the story leading up to it.
As the online version is a DRAFT, you can expect some crappy verbiage, ill-timed phrases, and misspelled words (maybe lots of misspelled words). So please, set your expectations accordingly. :)

Finally, an invitation:

Help me write it! When you read a section, leave a comment to let me know what you think. What do you like? What do you love? What doesn't make sense? What holes remain? What do want more of or less of from the characters? Any feedback at all is appreciated. I've been writing for years, and in this arena of life, I have a pretty thick skin. I welcome honest critique.

I will alert you every time a new installment has been uploaded if you follow me on Twitter. With each installment I'll also post a link to the novel blog on this blog, which you can have delivered to your email inbox (see the "Get my blog via email" box in the right column).

Thanks, all. You'll find the first installment of The Word Within by clicking here.

And so it begins...

7 Common "Ego Traps" for Leaders: Trap #4

2009-08-18T14:07:00.004-05:00

Ego Trap #4: "Without me, God is screwed."

Of course, if you're a leader, you wouldn't say it that way. This ego trap shows up a little more subtly, perhaps with thoughts like,

"Without me, the whole thing will fall apart,"
"It's all up to me," or
"If it weren't for me, nothing would get done around here."

This trap actually comes in two flavors. On the surface they seem a bit like opposites. But they are both rooted in the same egocentric idea--that you are the all-important answer to God's big problem.

Flavor one is what I call the Martyr, which is typically expressed as some variation of "it's all up to me." The martyrs think the people around them are either unwilling or unable to take on true authority and responsibility, and are themselves generally unwilling to let go of the same. They feel it's all on them to build the ship and make it sail, and that they alone can do it. They typically don't let others lead (though they may think they are), and then resent it when others don't step up and take charge.

Flavor two is the Chosen One, which, in effect, looks much like the Martyr only with more bluster and bravado. This version of the trap shows up the belief that you are the "the one," the golden child, the indispensable element, and that your team is darn lucky to have you around. If they really knew what was good for them, they would sit quietly at your feet and drink from the great fount of your superior skill and wisdom.

I hate to break it to you, but God can probably handle the world just fine without you. That's not to say that we're not important, or that we don't each have something glorious and special to offer the team, but at the end of the day you are neither the savior of the world nor the one it must sacrifice in order to survive. You are just one player in the very large Story that God is telling. Your job is simply, beautifully, to play your part, and to allow others to play theirs as well.

Think of a mom asking her daughter to bake cookies with her. Think of a dad inviting his son to build a swingset with him in the backyard. God doesn't invite you into some great work in the world because he's desperately low on your particular brand of brilliance and skill. He invites you in for your benefit (not his), and for the joy of doing it with you--whatever "it" is.

7 Common "Ego Traps" for Leaders: Trap #3

2009-08-04T06:01:00.001-05:00

Ego Trap #3: "My time is more valuable than your time."

A dear friend of mine recently declared: "Leaders make crappy friends. They're never available, they never return my calls. They're not the sort of people I can lean into when I need support or encouragement. They only agree to meet with me when they need something from me or want me to listen to them."

Of course, my friend didn't intend this as a blanket judgment on all leaders. But for many, this description is closer to true than they'd care to admit.

Consider for yourself: What would you do if you had a team member who rarely returned phone calls from other team members promptly (if at all), regularly showed up late to meetings because he was doing something "important," always expected other team members to adjust their schedules to his convenience and to meet in his office because it was easier for him, and even when he did meet with others, typically dominated those conversations with his own thoughts and opinions on the topic at hand?

If it were me, I'd probably fire a guy like that. But this description is not so different from how many of our leaders behave.

As a leader, do you think your time is worth more than other people's time? I'll be the first to say that this can be a tough one to answer, even for the most self-aware of leaders. After all, stewarding your time well is a key component to effective leadership, and leaders regularly have to guard their time and energy carefully to be sure they stay focused on the core tasks and responsibilities their role requires of them. But too often, leaders use their leadership responsibilities as a blanket excuse for treating others as "less than" themselves, and failing to extend to them the same respect and consideration they expect (and in some cases, demand) that others extend to them.

For example, do you:

rarely return phone calls from your team members quickly (if at all)?
often show up late to scheduled meetings because you were doing something "important"?
think the people you meet with should always come to you?
expect your team members to always bend their schedules around yours?
rarely spend time with team members that isn't directly related to work?
tend to dominate conversations (your thoughts, your opinions, your concerns, your insights), even if the meeting isn't specifically about work?

Leadership is no justification for being an insensitive jerk to the people you lead. It's certainly not an excuse to treat their time as less important than your own. In fact, a humble leader doesn't demand respect. Rather, he or she inspires respect by modeling it for the team. Showing up at meetings on time, returning phone calls promptly, meeting where it's convenient for them rather than you, showing genuine interest in your team members' lives, listening rather than dominating a conversation...none of these may seem like a big deal to you as a leader, but I guarantee your team will notice if you do them. Just as surely as they notice when you don't.

7 Common "Ego Traps" for Leaders: Trap #2

2009-07-30T06:35:00.002-05:00

Ego Trap #2: "If I don't stay on top of their work, mistakes will be made."

Translation: "I'm a control freak." Though you'd be more likely to describe it in more glowing terms, such as "I have a high value for excellence in all that we do," "I feel a lot of personal responsibility for the work," "I just care so much about the quality of all we create," or the like. Sound familiar? The classic sign of this ego trap is micromanagement, the surprise pop-ins, the constant compulsion to check up on people all the time, to make sure they're "on top of it," the second-guessing of decisions they make along the way.

The deeper issue here is the tendency to delegate responsibility but not real authority. Leaders who fall into this ego trap lose sight of the fact that leadership is a developmental process--for all of us. You didn't get where you are without giving yourself permission to risk and make mistakes. You've blown it more than a few times along the way. But you learned from those mistakes, picked yourself up, and went on to do it better next time. To lead well, you have to let other people do the same. If you can't allow the people on your team to take the ball and run with it even if it means they'll fumble and lose a game here and there, then you are probably stuck in this ego trap. You're a puppetmaster. And you've got your people dangling from your strings of control.

If you don't cut the strings, and give your people real authority over whatever you're asking them to do, they won't stay with you long. And the best among them will be the first to leave.

7 Common "Ego Traps" for Leaders

2009-07-28T06:37:00.001-05:00

Leadership, when it's good and strong and true, isn't about ego. It's about stepping boldly into a larger story, and inviting other people to come along with you. It's about surrendering your life to a Power and a purpose greater than yourself, and serving those who have chosen to follow you into that great adventure.

It's most definitely not about you.

The great enemy of great leadership is ego. We've all known leaders who make their leadership about themselves--they claim to serve and follow a larger vision, but it's pretty clear that their leadership is ultimately about their own fame, their success, their respect, their me-driven legacy, their control, their "rightness" about it all. It's not pretty to watch, and even less pleasant to experience. Ego-based leadership damages people.

But ego is a subtle demon. The thing about getting caught up in your ego is...it's self-blinding. It's like broccoli in your teeth; you can't see it until someone points it out. And even then, you might not believe them (ego isn't quick to listen to critique), so you go looking for a mirror.

So, I've decided to create a series of posts that you might think of as a kind of mirror for leaders. In each post, I'll name one of 7 common "ego traps" that leaders fall into. These traps are a little more subtle that obvious megalomania, but each of these can nonetheless seriously undermine a leader's effectiveness. I know this not just because I've seen it; I'm a recovering ego junkie myself. Truth is, I've fallen into almost every one of these at some point in my own leadership journey.

So try these on and see what you think. Have you ever fallen prey to one of these subtle ego traps? Here's the first:

Ego Trap #1: "I'm the only one who knows the right way to do it" -- This is the subtle (maybe even secret) belief that I know more and am smarter than the people I lead. This isn't about having more experience in a certain arena; it's about believing, deep down, that you are a step above in intelligence, insight, creativity and strategic thinking than everyone else on your team. The result is that you spend most of your time persuading and pressing others to do it your way and almost none of your time listening and learning from the people on your team. One famous leader I know of actually once said--in total sincerity--"I can't help it that God has given me the burden of always being right."

You think you know better than everyone you lead? Think again. Leadership is a privilege others give to you as a trust. It's not a badge proving your superiority as a human being. The best leaders, in fact, make it a practice to surround themselves with people who are clearly smarter, more creative and wiser than themselves.

Type A vs. Type B Creatives

2009-07-23T06:13:00.003-05:00

You're given a lump of clay and invited to create something out of it. Do you...

A) Stare at the clay in quiet meditation until a clear vision emerges for what you want to create...and then take action? or

B) Dive in and start messing with the clay, letting your fingers intuitively guide you as the image of what you want to create slowly emerges?

I'm a little A, but mostly B. Very mostly B, actually.

There is no right or wrong here. Both approaches work. Both can produce great works of art. But struggles arise when a Type A Creative tries to partner with a Type B. Without understanding and appreciating their differing styles, stress and conflict between A and B are inevitable. This is true whether you're partnering with someone as a writer, a musician, or working together to launch a business or create an event--really, any creative endeavor at all.

Now, extend this principle to the creativity of a team. Is your team as a whole more Type A, or Type B (creatively speaking)? So what happens if there's a mix of both types on a team?

Deadlock.

I had this conversation with a team just this past week, and, frankly, it was awesome. We'd been creatively deadlocked for quite some time and really didn't know why. But just by talking for a few minutes about these two main approaches to creativity, then going around the room and having each person name which type he or she was, the deadlock collapsed. Now that we know what was blocking our way, we can design new agreements for working together in a way that honors both creative styles--a little sit and stare, a little messin' with the clay.

Which Creative Type are you? A or B?

Redefining the "Win"

2009-07-21T06:07:00.003-05:00

"Victory belongs to the most persevering."--Napoleon Bonaparte

"Success is never final. Failure is never fatal. It is courage that counts." -- Winston Churchill

Leadership, more often than not, is seen as a win/lose game. Either you "succeed" at leadership, or you don't. But what is it, exactly, to "succeed" at leadership? Is it to be better, more respected, more famous, than other leaders? Is it to have the largest following? Is it to be the most courageous, or the most persevering? How do you really, honestly define leadership success?

What does "winning" look like for you as a leader?

Comment your thoughts.

Why I Think SoulPancake.com is the Best Thing Since...well, Pancakes!

2009-07-16T06:56:00.002-05:00

If you could ask God one question, what would it be?
Can we find beauty in imperfection?
Should we live under religious laws?
Can God and humor coexist?

These are just a few of the many surprising and evocative questions being posed on soulpancake.com. And the thing is, they really want to hear what you have to say about them.

SoulPancake describes itself as more of a mission than a web site...and that mission is "to make discussions about Spirituality, Creativity, and Philosophy cool again...Where do you go on the Interwebs if you want an irreverent, fun, and profound take on God and Art and the Soul and Faith and Beauty? Fox.com? Maybe. But maybe also here at SoulPancake.com."

The curators provide some great content (interviews, blogs, challenges, contests, features, etc), but it’s really all about having the SoulPancake community bring this site to life. "Say what’s on your mind. Be real. Talk about WHY WE’RE HERE...Life is a rich, weird, difficult experience. So join us as we go on the spiritual and artistic journey that is SoulPancake."

Seems we're always finding new and innovative uses for the internets, but here's one I really wish I'd thought of. Still, I'm glad at least that someone did.

But don't take my word for it. Check it out for yourself. And by all means, join the conversation.

A Dumb Little Post About Stuff That Probably Wouldn't Interest You

2009-07-14T06:02:00.005-05:00

Among the emails I receive each week, many include random questions about me and my background that I now realize are not available anywhere on the web. So, in an effort to bore you all to tears, here we go:

I am a published writer, a certified life coach, and work as the leadership development coach on staff at this church. (Yes, I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do when I grow up.)
I have published two fantasy novels, and I'm currently (very slowly) working on a third.
My Twitter name, Ajelwind, comes from one of the main characters in my novels, Ajel Windrunner.
I have also published two other non-fiction works.
I have created a life-purpose discovery course for women called The Destiny Project, which is now being taught by a terrific cadre of amazing certified facilitators all across the country.
I'm currently in the process of launching a men's version of the course called The BraveHeart Intensive.
I'm also working on the book version of The Destiny Project (thus, the slow writing...).
I used to be the managing editor of books for this publishing house.
I once took a year off to travel. I figured, why wait 'till I'm 65? One of the best decisions I ever made.
I currently live in Austin. I am a native Texan, but lived in Colorado for nearly 14 years.
I graduated from this University with a degree in Journalism. But I studied geophysics for four years before figuring out I wanted to be a writer.
My genius web designer is currently working on a stronger, better, faster website for michaelwarden.com. Stay tuned!
I am on Facebook and Twitter, and of course, I'll be your friend.

OK, your turn now. Tell us some stuff about you in the comments. All factoids welcome no matter how random. In fact, the more random , the better.

Using Twitter to Shut Up and Learn

2009-07-09T06:25:00.005-05:00

I tweet. I've become a tweeter.

I dipped my toe in some time back, and really, it was all an experiment. I didn't get it, which is partly why I did it. Really, what's the point in turning your life into a series of 140-character headlines?

"Headed to the store."
"At store now. Got my favorite space! Lucky lucky."
"Driving. Lots of cars. Wow."
"Back from store now. Bought some bananas. On sale! Woot!"

Woot? Really? That's what you're going with? Woot? Who says that?

But 500-something tweets later, I'm a believer. True, at its worst, Twitter can be droll and monotonous. But when it's good, it's fascinating. Forget all the stuff about building a following and self-promoting and blah blah blah yada yada. Here's what I love about Twitter:

Learning. Listening. Seeing it all from a completely different perspective. Stepping into someone else's shoes and taking in their take on the world. Twitter gives me the unprecedented ability to follow along with fascinating people who do not see the world as I do. It's broadened my understanding of the human experience, in all its many shades and flavors, and my appreciation for the beautiful mess the lot of us are.

Take Iran's recent election catastrophe, for example. When the government tried to silence all media reporting on the violence, a few brave citizens in Iran tweeted in defiance, giving the world a play-by-play of what was happening in the streets in nearly real-time. Amazing. That act alone has created in me, and I know in many others, a keen solidarity with the Iranian people that I'd never know otherwise.

That's just one example. I also follow others on Twitter who live in worlds quite apart from mine: famous actors & musicians, atheists, Buddhists, gays & lesbians, Christian leaders and folks from other ethnic communities. (Oh, and actual real-life friends. That part is cool too.) Here's a snippet of a recent stream:

The point is, I'm learning. It's fascinating stuff. And yeah, some of it ticks me off. But then, I probably tick them off too. So I say, why not be humble? Why not go first? Find some people who are not like you, who live very different lives from the one that you lead, and follow them. Challenge yourself. Stretch. Love.

Who do you follow on Twitter? Why do you follow them?

Oh, of course. If want to show me some Twitter love, just click here.

Fear Drives, Love Compels

2009-07-07T06:18:00.004-05:00

What's the fuel that runs your life? What actually "powers" you into action day to day?

I've become convinced that there are only two primary fuels for the human soul:

Fear. And Love.

I visited a church a few weeks back. Great people, kind and clearly passionate about their faith. But after some sweet conversation in the lobby and some deeply resonate worship (love, love, love!), the experience took what was for me a drastic turn. The speaker's message was turbocharged by fear...be afraid of this, be terrified of that, and if you're not petrified by that other thing, then you're just not paying attention. You're much closer to danger than you think, dangling by a thread over a gaping chasm of destruction that only the most intense fervent pleading can save you from. And the crowd totally bought in, or most of them anyway. Tears, desperate prayers. This wasn't about true contrition or repentance (metanoia--beautiful word!). This was about playing the victim role and masquerading it as faith...fueled by fear of life, of Satan, of your own darker urges. The underlying message seemed to be that the holier you are, the more fear-driven you'll be.

Is life supposed to be more about running to, or running from?

I vote "A". For some people, life is mostly about avoiding what you fear. For others, it's mostly about moving toward what you love. We're all afraid of stuff, of course. But feeling afraid and letting that fear be the fuel of your life are two very different things.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. (1 John 4:18)

Believe it or not, this is actually a post about leadership. Because whatever fuels your life, fuels your leadership. If you live from fear, then your leadership quickly becomes all about raising alarms, rallying the troops to the latest new danger that must be avoided, playing the victim, the one under siege. It's all reactive; all moving away from things.

But if you live from love, then your leadership becomes about the highest dream, the compelling vision of that thing you and your people long for most, the deeper YES! You forge a community, not of victims, but of free men and women (Galatians 5:1) who have love and have choice, and know how to use them.

The (Not So) Secret Goal of Coaching

2009-06-30T06:54:00.000-05:00

Critics of the coaching process and relationship often say that the entire work of life coaching is nothing more than a glorified form of "navel gazing." All this focusing on what you want, what you value, what you dream for your life--it's selfish. It's just another self-serving expression of our culture's obsession with "me, my & mine."

But these critics do not understand that coaching contains a powerful paradox--rooted in this fundamental attribute of every human heart: We find our true purpose and true meaning in life not in what we get for ourselves, but in what we give away. By diving into the exploration of our heart's true desires, everyone eventually comes to realize that what they really want--what would truly make their lives happy and fulfilled--is to surrender their hearts to a purpose and a calling that is greater than themselves. Our deepest desire is to become an active player in a grand, wondrous story that is bigger and more meaningful than any story we could tell on our own.

And so coaching, which on the surface seems to be all about you, is ultimately not really about you at all, but about the big gift you were created to give away to the world.

What is the unique, big gift you were designed to bring to the world?

(repost)

New Website in the Works!

2009-06-26T08:36:00.004-05:00

My own personal creative genius, Josh Tilton over at Grip Creative, is up to his usual here-let-me-blow-you-away-BAM! antics. He just sent me his initial re-envisioning of my website (michaelwarden.com) and I am blown away! I've gotta keep it under wraps, but here's a snippet, from a corner, of a piece of something made of awesome:

More updates to come. This is going to be cool.

By the way, Josh also designed this site for me.

When Your Way of Seeing Blocks Your View

2009-06-25T06:42:00.000-05:00

All the time I have clients coming to me who feel stuck. They feel trapped in a situation that they don't know how to get out of. There's no choice, or at least that's what feels real to them. It's "just the way things are" and so they do their best to muddle through, struggle against the onslaught of whatever it is that holds them back or holds them down. And all the while the resentment, the quiet despair, builds in the undercurrent of their souls.

So they come hoping for a way out. In some cases, they're desperate for it. And this really interesting thing happens.

You ever watch the Animal Planet channel--when they cage up a wild animal, haul if off somewhere else (presumably somewhere safer) and release it back into the wild? Ever notice how lots of times when the handlers open the cage and step away, the animal for whatever reason won't come out? It wants nothing more than to be free and away from these meddlesome humans, but it just sits there on its haunches growling in the back of the cage! It's like the animal doesn't really buy it. It's got to be a trick. Only it's not a trick; the animal is free to go. But it just won't leave the freakin' cage (the cage it hates, by the way), and so the handlers have to shake the cage and freak the animal out just to get it to step back into freedom.

I've noticed that we can be a lot like that caged animal when we get stuck in certain (unfulfilling, unproductive, unpleasant, unhelpful) ways of looking at a challenge in our lives. We get stuck in a perspective, and it becomes very much like a cage we hate. Maybe the perspective is "this is hopeless" or "I've tried everything and nothing works" or "I hate this but I'm too tired to care anymore" or "I give up" or a thousand other self-defeating ways of looking at something. But even though we want a way out, when we're asked to step out of the cage and consider a different perspective (a different attitude or different way of looking at the issue), we often fiercely resist. The new perspective might be something like "I can beat this" or "I'll find a way" or "The answer is coming." And you can just feel the tension in the air rise. Our minds are instantly filled with all sorts of bold pronouncements: "That's just not the way it is!" or "You've got to be kidding!" or "That's just stupid."

The cage is open, but we don't want to come out.

Why do we want to stay in the cage of a powerless perspective? Well for one thing, it's comfortable. Even though we don't like it, at least it's not unknown...you know, like the space "out there" beyond the bars. And sometimes we also think it's all a trick. We're just much too smart for these ridiculous mind games. "Change my perspective? You may as well ask me to believe the sky is purple." We're not going to be fooled, no sir, not us. We know what's up with life out there. We know how it is. And nobody's going to tell us different.

And the truth is, that's your choice. Because that's what perspective is really about: the power of choice. How you look at a challenge in your life is totally up to you. Nobody's holding a gun to your head saying, "Think useless, powerless thoughts about this or I'll shoot you!" So if you want to stay in your cage, you absolutely can. But you don't have to. You really, really don't have to.

Marcel Proust wrote, "The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes."

Oftentimes the reason we haven't found an answer to our struggles isn't because the struggle is too big or we're too small or dumb or whatever. It's because the cage we've chosen to sit in is blocking our view.

Where in your life are you saying with a sigh, "this is just the way it is"?

(repost)

A City on a Hill

2009-06-23T06:50:00.000-05:00

I've noticed in myself, as well as in those I lead and serve, this intractable tendency to try to live in two stories at once. One story is grand and beautiful and true, the other is small and petty and territorial and mostly blind to glory. One is unguarded, the other suspicious. One demanding, the other allows it all. One stands tall in resting trust, the other is forever frightened of losing the ground it needs, or thinks it needs, to prove itself acceptable. One story is about the greater good, the other is about our own lack of belief, sitting on its haunches in a dank, dark corner, bound in shame, or the fear of it.

I think sometimes the greatest test we each face as human beings is in deciding which story we are actually going to live.

When God looks at who you are, what do you really believe he sees?

How you answer that question will tell you much about which story you are choosing.

"Here's another way to put it: You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you on a light stand. Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand--shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven."
(Jesus, from Matthew 5:14-16, The Message)

Why Bother?

2009-06-17T09:04:00.003-05:00

In coaching as in leadership, there is one question we must continually be asking, bearing it up before us like a torch to light the path ahead:

What is my dream for them?

What do you truly want for the people you lead, for that person you're coaching? What is your deep desire for them? How do you want all this to turn out for them? In coaching we talk a lot about honoring the client's agenda--in other words, letting them lead the way. And that's good, but any practiced coach will tell you, it's not complete. Your own heart--the best part of your compassion and hope--has much to tell you about the person you're coaching, or the people you lead. You'll see potential they don't, and pitfalls they won't. You'll see where they've been shut down, where they are not yet free and know only vaguely that this is so. Your heart will want to form a dream for them, and this is a very good thing.

I think, in fact, it's essential. If you don't know what you're fighting for on behalf of the people you lead or coach, then why fight at all? Why bother? A leader needs to want something for his people...a dream, a driving desire for their unleashing. A vision for them that has nothing to do with you and everything to do with their greater good. It's not about knowing more or being better than others so you feel obliged to help. It's about surrendering yourself to Love's desire on their behalf. Both leadership and coaching, when they're true and clear, are ultimately about love. Not phileo or eros, but agape--the love that desires for nothing but the other's greatest good.

Take a look at the people you are giving yourself to as a leader or a coach. What is your dream for them? What is it that love would have you believe or do in service of their lives?

Knowing Your Impact

2009-06-11T06:04:00.001-05:00

Probably the most significant blind spot that holds leaders back from being as effective as they could be is this: They are not aware of the unintended impact they typically have on those they lead.

What is the lingering effect that you have on the people you interact with as a leader? When they walk away from a conversation with you, how do they typically feel about it? For example, do they feel heard? Respected? Overwhelmed? Challenged? Encouraged? Shut down? Condescended to? Loved?

Knowing your relational impact as a leader is one aspect of emotional intelligence, and without that understanding, your leadership can be weakened or even crippled in ways that leave you feeling genuinely perplexed about it all. One leader I know was perpetually troubled by what he perceived as a stubborn reluctance on the part of his team to communicate with him. They would often hold back vital information regarding projects they were responsible for until just a few days before the deadline, which regularly put him in the difficult position of having to make significant changes to projects at the last minute--a process that was as a costly as it was frustrating for everyone involved. What he didn't realize was that his frank, direct communication style was having the unintended impact of intimidating just about everyone on his team. His people avoided talking with him because they found the interactions threatening in a way that shut down their own creativity and enjoyment...so they put off engaging with him until they absolutely had to.

Fortunately, there is a fairly simple way to discover the impact you're having on those you lead. However, it requires both courage and authentic humility:

Make a list of five or six people in your relational world that you trust and believe will be honest with you. Some of these should be people you lead, but also include a few people who don't work with you directly--perhaps a friend or two, or even a spouse.
Meet with each person privately and let them know that you are genuinely interested in learning how to be a better leader, and to do that you need to ask them a few questions that you want them to answer as honestly as possible. Get their agreement on this before proceeding.
Ask them the following questions, being careful to avoid getting defensive or justifying yourself in any way. Just listen, take it in, and thank them for their honesty.

What's it really like to be in relationship with me?
What impact do you notice that I typically have on people that I lead?
What negative impact do I have on others that I am typically unaware of?

Remember, it takes humility to do this. People will be able to sense whether you authentically want to hear the truth. And often they will have much more to say about your positive impact on others than they will about the negative. Still, you must choose to be teachable. Whatever comes of those conversations, this much is sure: You will be a better leader.

Team Values

2009-06-09T10:13:00.003-05:00

Anyone who's worked in an organization knows the spiel about company values: Here's what we believe is important; here are the behaviors and attitudes we promote in our organization. Although often borne out of a noble desire among the leaders, these "organizational values" often fail to enlist or even inspire the people within the organization, and are typically perceived as an attempt to control them rather than free them up, a vaguely threatening reminder that "Big Brother is watching."

So why does this happen?

There can be many reasons, but the first thing a leader needs to acknowledge when confronted with this dynamic is that the problem does not lie with the people in the organization; it lies with the leadership. Too many leaders don't really understand what a value is and how it actually works within a team or organization. For one thing, values are typically not something you can impose. They arise collectively out of the team dynamic.

Here's a good definition: A value (in the team sense) is an existing dynamic, attitude or outcome that the team collectively holds as important or essential to its survival or success.

Most of the stated values of an organization are actually aspirational values--that is, they represent the values that the leaders wish were true, or want to be true. But they too often have little or no connection to the values that are actually already present in the organization, running the show.

Quick example: One NPO I have worked with had a stated value they called "Balanced Living"--which promoted the importance of avoiding burnout on the job by slowing down and taking regular time away from the office. Problem was, almost nobody on staff lived this way. Why? Because they had an unspoken actual value (which we later named "Fast") that equated success on the team with treating every project like a Code Red Emergency. If your workload wasn't constantly bathed in a sort of panicked urgency, then you weren't really committed or trying hard enough. The team would even (unconsciously) push back essential planning and decisions until the last minute so they could create the necessary stress level that their "Fast" value needed to thrive. Almost nobody liked going fast all the time; but they collectively believed (subconsciously) that going fast was the only way to survive or succeed in their organization.

Which leads me to a few tips and observations regarding values that I think every leader needs to know:

Your team or organization already has a set of values by which it operates. You cannot integrate new values into a team until you have first named and openly explored with the team the values that are currently already there.
Values belong to the team and can be changed only by the team's collective choice. Trying to impose a value on a team doesn't work. You can force compliance, but not agreement.
To move a team toward your aspirational values, you must first openly explore and name with them the values that are currently present. Only then can you promote the benefit of embracing the new values you want for them, and then invite each team member to make a conscious decision about whether they want to let go of the old value and embrace the new...or not. Authentically moving a team toward a new value involves a process of enlisting people, not enforcing your vision.
There will always be a certain percentage of people on your team who will not agree to a value change, even after the majority makes the shift. These people will need to step out of the organization; and the sooner, the better.

What are the actual values that currently "run the show" on your team?

Alliance

2009-06-04T09:40:00.003-05:00

The overall level of power or effectiveness of any leadership team is governed by the alliance that exists within the team. Now when I say alliance, I'm referring to more than just the "team agreements" or "team covenant"--that document that many teams create to help foster alignment around a particular set of values or behaviors. Such agreements represent an important aspect of alliance, but they usually fail to name or address some of the deeper dynamics that actually run the team. For example:

How authentic and honest can we really be with each other?
How much fun and laughter is allowed in our meetings?
How wildly creative can we get?
How will we respond when one of us fails? How much failure will actually be tolerated?
How much/often can we lean into each other when we have a need?
How much challenge is allowed on the team? To what degree can we push each other to grow and how often can we do it?

An alliance is the set of mutual agreements, conscious or unconscious, that govern any team. A "team covenant" typically addresses the desired "rules of engagement" that a team strives for, but the alliance names the rules that are actually there--both the overt and the covert--and seeks to bring them all "into the light" where the team can make conscious decisions about how they authentically want to interact with each other.

Truth is, most team dynamics form unconsciously. They develop organically, or as I like to say, accidentally, over time. As you work together, unspoken/unconscious rules get established among you. Sometimes that leads to a very cool serendipitous experience. “Wow, what an powerful team we have!” Very often, however, an unconsciously formed alliance leads to frustration, stress or chronic tension on the team. Or perhaps worst of all, boredom. The vast majority of struggle or ineffectiveness on a team is not about willful resistance on the part of team members; it’s about an oppressive unspoken alliance--that is, unspoken "rules of engagement" on the team that foster antagonism among team members or shut down creativity.

If the alliance is weak, the team will not be powerful, even when the individuals making up the team are all brilliant, capable people. This is why designing a conscious alliance on a leadership team is so important.

What do I mean by conscious alliance? I mean, simply, taking time to honestly look at the dynamics that are actually present on the team, and then deciding as a team what you want to do about them. Here are some questions that can help a team uncover what some of these are:

Looking back over the last six months of our work together, what stands out to you about the overall dynamic (or "vibe") that exists on our team?
What do you like about our team dynamic? What doesn't work well for you?
What dynamic on the team tends to have you shut down or check out?
On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being "extremely") how wildly creative can we be as a team? Why do you suppose that is?
How much freedom is present for us to openly disagree with each other? Is there anyone on the team with whom we are not "allowed" to disagree?
How much challenge is allowed on our team? To what degree can we push each other to grow and how often can we do it?
What's missing in our team dynamic?
What do you want more of? what do you want less of?

Questions such as these help the team dig deep to uncover the often-hidden dynamics that actually govern the team's level of effectiveness and mutual enjoyment. It's important to explore questions like these every so often to ensure the team alliance is genuinely as powerful and life-giving as it can be.

As you think about your own leadership team dynamic, what jumps out at you? What shift or change in the team dynamic would take your team to the next level of fulfillment and effectiveness?

Roles

2009-06-02T09:52:00.002-05:00

Most people quite naturally understand the notion of roles on a leadership team. One person facilitates the meeting; another keeps time; a third takes notes; and so on. In coaching, these are examples of external roles--that is, functional duties that are openly assigned to various members of the team. Every leadership team has a set of external roles that need to be filled, or populated (in coaching vernacular). The roles are easily transferable; that is, they belong to the team and not to any specific individual. For that reason, any person may (and usually will) take up a role that someone else vacates. For example, Kenny may take over the role of taking notes when Anna is out sick.

I know this explanation may sound a bit obvious, but I'm laying it out in order to point to another level of team roles that function in much the same way. These are called internal roles.

Who is the one who keeps things light-hearted and fun on the team?
Who is the one who dares to blurt out what everyone is thinking but is afraid to say?
Who is the one who makes sure everyone is heard?
Who is the one who is always trying to speed things up?
Who is the one who is always trying to slow things down?

Each of these questions speak to an internal role that may exist on a leadership team. Just as every team comes with a set of external roles that need to be filled, there is a parallel set of internal roles the team needs filled as well. What those specific internal roles are depends on the unique dynamic of that particular team, but they are vitally important to the healthy functioning of the group. Many problems that arise on leadership teams are the result of poorly populated internal roles--for example, a team that tends to be too combative and argumentative needs someone to be the cool-headed mediator, but there's no one on the team who is particularly good at filling that role, so the team regularly degrades into a fight and gets stuck there.

Knowing which internal roles are needed on your particular leadership team can help a leader more quickly recognize what's "not working" when a team breaks down or isn't functioning as powerfully as it could. Chances are, the problem may be that you have a vital internal role that's not being filled, or that's being filled poorly. You might also have someone on the team who is experiencing role nausea--that is, they've been filling a particular internal role for a long time and have grown weary and frustrated with it all. In such cases, it's helpful to talk with your team about the internal roles that exist (or need to exist) on the team and discuss how the team wants to fill them. This sometimes may mean bringing in new people to fill needed internal roles that the current team is struggling to populate effectively.

What internal roles are present on your team? What internal role or roles do you typical fill?

Privilege

2009-05-28T06:16:00.001-05:00

Privilege, as it applies to a team, is a slightly different kind of power from either rank or roles. Privilege is a kind of inherited power, a sort of sweat equity built up over time that a particular kind of team member enjoys the benefits of, even if he or she did little or nothing to create it.

One of the most obvious examples of privilege is race & gender. For example, I am a white male. On top of that, I'm a tall white male. All of these are simple facts of my existence that I had no part in creating for myself. I did not work for them. They simply are. And yet, because I am a tall, white male, I enjoy a certain level of privilege on most teams I am a part of. I'm given a certain amount of deference and respect that I would not receive if I were something other than tall, white and male.

Clearly, as this example illustrates, not all forms of privilege are necessarily good or desirable. But other forms of privilege are less ethically dubious. Seniority, for example. The person who has been on the team the longest generally carries a sort of privileged status. He or she may have freedoms to say or do things that newer members of the team do not. Or, what if you happen to become good friends with the boss? You start to do stuff together outside of work. Now you are in a place of privilege, and you will notice that the rest of the team will begin treating you differently. Some will defer to you more; others will distance themselves from you. That's privilege at work.

Though it is a kind of authority, privilege is not quite the same as rank. Rank refers to a direct authority you have within the team. Privilege speaks more to the notion of authority by association. Privilege is more about cultural status than personal power or ability. I may, for example, be a very ineffectual team member with little rank in any arena, but because I am a tall, white male, I will nonetheless continue to enjoy the privileges associated with that cultural status. People may tolerate my ineptness much longer, for example, than they might someone who wasn't a tall, white male, before kicking me off the team.

I like Andy Crouch's definition of privilege. He describes it as "the continuing benefits of past successful exercises of power." White males have dominated the power structures in our society for hundreds of years. Though that dynamic is finally beginning to change (thank God!), I still experience the continuing benefits of our white-male-dominated past. That's privilege.

What kind of privilege is most prevalent on your team?

Rank

2009-05-26T06:55:00.002-05:00

I was enjoying a meal with a friend a few weeks ago. He is a brilliant man who leads a large team of great people. We were discussing a particularly entrenched dynamic on his team that he didn't understand and didn't like. It seemed every time he wanted the team to wrestle with a difficult challenge their organization was facing, the team would start haltingly poking around for the "right answer"--the solution that the team believed their leader had already thought of. To them, it wasn't a discussion so much as a test to see if they could or would come up with the same answer the leader had already decided on.

Only, this really wasn't the leader's intent. He really did want them to wrestle together to find solutions to creative challenges, and he really didn't already have an answer in mind. But no matter how often he would say that, the team didn't seem to believe him. They would keep trying to uncover the "right answer" as he saw it rather than offering their own unvarnished opinions and ideas. All of this was doubly frustrating because this happened to be a team full of creative geniuses!

So what was really going on here?

It's hard to unravel dynamics like this without first understanding the notion of "rank" on a team. Rank is a way of describing a person's level of authority on the team within a particular arena. Every member of a team has some form of rank. The kind of rank we're most familiar with is positional rank. My friend in this story, for example, is the boss over everyone on his team. So he has the highest positional rank.

But there are many other kinds of rank that exist on a team (or in a relationship), and these often carry more weight than positional rank. For example:

intellectual rank (who's the one that the team holds as the smartest among them?),
emotional rank (which team member's emotional state matters most to the team?),
spiritual rank (who is seen as the wisest spiritually?),
social rank (who is the one who holds the group together as a relational community?)
and so on.

There are as many types of rank as there are arenas of authority. Having a particular kind of rank in a team is not the same thing as playing a particular role; in fact, sometimes there can seem to be little connection between a person's rank and their role on the team. The person taking the notes (a role) may be the one with the greatest emotional rank on the team (i.e. when he's happy, everyone's happy; when he's upset, the group stops everything to "make it better" for him). Or the person with the lowest paid job may have the highest social rank (i.e. she's the one who has the power to either include or exclude anyone on the team from the social community within the team or the organization).

So back to my friend. His problem was that he was carrying too much rank in too many arenas within the team, and that was effectively shutting down the team's capacity to function creatively. Besides having positional rank on the team, he also had the highest intellectual rank, and the highest emotional rank. He was the boss. He was seen as smarter than anyone else in the room. And everyone on the team was bent on keeping him emotionally happy. No wonder the team couldn't have open creative discussions!

Now that my friend knows about his rank (most people are unaware of the rank they hold within a team), he is able to consciously "give it away" it to others on the team. For example, he's shifting the organizational structure so that others on the team have more positional authority. He's also begun to consciously defer to the team's collective intelligence in many key decisions as a way of transferring his own intellectual rank to others on the team. Finally, he's learning to better manage his emotions to avoid inadvertently hijacking the team's creative process when he feels frustrated or sad.

What about your team (or teams)? What rank do you hold on the team?

Star Wars Recap

2009-05-14T06:25:00.000-05:00

Thanks to my buddy Kenny Conley for turning me on to this...a retelling of the Star Wars trilogy, given by someone who's never seen the movies. High-larious...

Star Wars: Retold from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.

My Reflections on Q

2009-05-12T06:55:00.003-05:00

It's been a few weeks since I attended the Q Conference here in Austin. If you don't know, the Q Conference is a TED-inspired gathering of thought leaders in the Christian world who come to hear from a variety of voices--both in- and outside the Christian realm--who have something to show or teach us as leaders of those who follow Christ.

My experience of the conference was quite different from most, or so I gather from blog posts and conversations with others who attended. While there were many great moments and some truly fascinating presenters (special kudos to Shane Hipps, Alan Hirsch, and John Burke, for example), the conference left me with a lingering and uneasy dissonance. Over the last two weeks, the dissonance has settled out into two general critiques, not of the event so much as of the state of the American church in general. I'll list them here as general observations:

* We're still far too detached from and scared of the culture we live in. So many of the presentations at Q focused on a wide assortment of techniques and strategies and ideas for ways Christians can "engage the culture." But we fail to see that the problem isn't our strategies; it's where we're standing. We Christians talk about culture as something that is "over there," while we stand "over here" in our self-protective Christian safety zone and poke and prod the "culture" with a stick like some kind of wild animal we strongly suspect to be rabid and a little put off with us besides. You want to follow Jesus? Leave your culture and get into theirs. Simple? Yes. Messy? You bet. Courageous? Is there any other Way?

* We (apparently) aren't yet willing to really step out of our comfort zone and listen to people who have things to say that the church needs to hear. The speakers were great, but in my opinion they were largely pretty safe choices. Ted Haggard and his wife were the one clear exception to this. But I didn't hear anything that I would say was really "out of the box"; that really challenged my paradigm or forced me to ask questions I tend to avoid. Where for example, was the voice of church leaders from the 3rd world, who are in many cases suffering under conditions of extreme poverty, disease and religious persecution? What might they have to say to the church in the West? Where was the voice of the gay community, to tell us how the message of the gospel, as we have presented it to them, has actually impacted them and their capacity to believe in a God who loves them? Where was the voice of the Muslim leader to tell us how the church in the West looks to their eyes? Where even was the voice of our Catholic brothers and sisters in the faith? What amazing learning we are missing out on, it seems to me.

Again, there were some great moments at Q, and many truly brilliant people offering their gifts. But isn't true leadership about inspiring one another to live beyond our sated comfort zones, and the willingness to really listen and learn from those who do not see the world as we do?

Defining "Leader"

2009-05-07T06:55:00.000-05:00

One of the key roles of a leader in a church or serving organization is multiplication--that is, the ongoing work of identifying and developing new leaders to extend their reach and multiply the impact of the church or organization. Most leaders work to accomplish this by creating apprentice systems or curriculum-based programs designed to train a potential leader to fill the role. Too often, however, leaders jump into this process without first asking a vital foundational question:

What is a leader?

How your organization answers that question will shape every aspect of leadership development you create from there on out. When I have leaders take the time to genuinely explore this question, they generally discover that their assumed definition of "leader"--that is, the definition they naturally gravitate towards--is far too narrow, and effectively blinds them from seeing or engaging with the full potential for leadership within their organization. Here's what I mean: Most church leaders tend to define leadership in terms of the organization--i.e. You are a leader if you fill a specific leadership role in the organizational structure. So staff members, or volunteers holding organizational posts--these are the leadership roles leaders see, and tend to train (exclusively) for.

But what happens when you define leadership in terms of the organism (i.e. the entire relational community) rather than just in terms of the organization? Suddenly a host of leaders show up on the radar that were previously invisible. For example, what about the woman in your church who organizes and leads relief efforts through the Red Cross in your community? Or the man who meets informally with a group of young men each week to mentor them thru life's challenges? Or the musical artist who regularly invites other musicians from the community over to his house to jam together and talk about life? Or the family that takes in foster children from third world countries? All of these folks, you realize, are leaders within your organization's relational world. You begin to see that leadership has much more to do with influence than it does with an organizational position. As John Quincy Adams rightly said, "If your actions inspire others to do more, and to become more, then you are a leader."

We sometimes forget that the church organization is designed to serve the church organism, and not the other way around.

So what happens when organizational leaders define "leadership" in these broader terms? Well first, you begin to see how limited and limiting most of our organizational leadership training programs really are, and how many people they "miss" altogether. Not that we shouldn't train people to take on leadership roles in the organization--of course we should! But a broader definition of "leader" turns the focus outward, and shifts our thoughts toward a more missional mindset. Leadership development becomes less about "How can we recruit them to join us?" and more about "How can we come alongside and serve them?" How can we as leaders begin to support, provide resources for and even train the people of influence (i.e. leaders!) in our church or serving community to increase their impact and multiply themselves?

I find that when leaders begin asking questions like these, two things happen: Leadership Development becomes a lot more messy and harder to measure. It also becomes a lot more powerful and life-giving--both for the leaders and for those they lead.

What's your definition of "leader"?

Crazy Belgians....

2009-05-05T06:14:00.004-05:00

Got some happy now? Awesome.

Pay it forward.

In Praise of Slowness (and Being the Message You Bring to the World)

2009-04-30T06:12:00.000-05:00

Two thoughts immediately struck me as I listened to Carl Honore, author of In Praise of Slowness, speak in the video below. The first was how happy I am to see that the general awareness is rising in us all about the life-sucking effects of a faster-is-better lifestyle, as is the desire to find realistic ways to pull back the throttle on our pace, at least at certain times of our week, and drink in life in a richer, more savory way--whether that be through a meal shared with family, an evening without media, or an unhurried bedtime story well told.

The second thought was about how much stronger and more impactful Honore's message could have been if he had intentionally embodied the message he brought from the stage. He spoke quickly throughout the 20-minute talk; his energy was consistently tense and racing. His delivery told a different story than the story of his words. This is more a point on leadership skill than on the content of the talk (which was, in itself, rich and satisfying). But to me it also speaks metaphorically of a common failing of many in leadership in the church. We get so busy, so all-consumed, with our passion to promote the abundant life available to the world through Christ, that we lose our connection to that very life within ourselves. We aren't living--that is, vividly incarnating--the life of Christ that we say that we have. Our lives speak a different message than our words--and speak it so loudly that the world can't hear what we're saying.

Not to say that Honore's message didn't sink in for me--it did. But not because of Honore's example, which was of something very other than what he was speaking about. Rather, his message resonated with me because I have had other experiences that support and reinforce it. I have reason to believe, quite apart from Honore, that engaging in a practice of slowness increases the richness of life, and also opens wide the door to the life of Christ within us--the life without which we really have nothing of unique value to offer anyone in the world, regardless of how good and smart our message may sound.

It's one thing to bring a message of life to others. Certainly that has some merit. But the real power lies with those who are the message.

I Just Found Out...I Was Almost Famous (Sort Of)

2009-04-28T06:27:00.003-05:00

In the "curious but weird" department, I found out recently that I--or at least my name--was on the verge of fame a few years back, thanks to a CBS pilot called The Way, which never quite came to fruition. Here's a quote describing the drama (notice the Bold):

"In the spring of 2006, Jason Behr [that's him in the photo] wrapped the CBS dramatic pilot, The Way, about a powerful New England family that uses witchcraft to further its business enterprises. Jason plays Michael Warden, the show's male lead, one of the family's children who is at the center of a sibling power rivalry. Jason is in good company with fellow castmates who include, Jane Alexander, Julia Ormond, Peter Strauss, Will Patton, and Andrew McCarthy. As of May 17, 2006, CBS announced its fall lineup — and The Way was not picked up."

Ah, fickle Hollywood. My chance at the big time was lost before I even knew it! Truth is, I'm relieved. Witchcraft? C'mon, man. That would be like the Anti-Michael.

It's 2009. Do You Know Where Your Soul Is?

2009-04-23T06:59:00.001-05:00

A few days ago, Bono published the second installment of his opinion column for the NY Times. Got to say I love the voice of the man; and I don't just mean his singing (though I do love that too). You can't read Bono's writing without hearing the rough lilting cadence of his voice in your head...a sign of someone who knows what he has to offer, and doesn't waste his time or ours trying to offer something less or more than simply that.

This time he reflects on the significance of Easter at a time when the whole world is hungry for the chance to begin again.

Definitely worth a read. Click here.

Life is...Good?

2009-04-21T06:43:00.001-05:00

I got this sticker in the mail this week, along with a t-shirt I bought from the company that has, remarkably, trademarked the phrase:

Thing is, when I saw the sticker I was struck somehow...like I was seeing the idea for the first time.

Life is good.

Do I really believe this? Do you?

My immediate response was not to say yes or no, but rather, "I want to believe," which suddenly made me feel like Mulder from the X-Files trying to make sense of a universe that's just too big for one man to understand.

Truth is, there are many other descriptors of life that I often find much easier to believe than "Life is good."

For example, life is hard.
Life is complicated.
Life is not fair.
Life is painful.
Life is scary.
Life is uncertain.
Life is not a game.

Hard, complicated, unfair, painful, scary, uncertain -- does that sound good to you?

But even as I write these, I realize that they are all just limiting perspectives. (A perspective, in coaching parlance, is a dominating view of the world, the "reality" you choose to embrace that trumps all others.) Each one of these declarations about life can become a particular shade of tinted glass through which I choose to see the world, filtering my perception accordingly to highlight those things that reinforce it and blinding me to those things that don't.

So if, for example, I adopt a perspective that "life is hard," then all I will be prone to see are the hard things in life. That lens will filter out most or all that does not reinforce it. I will not see the easy or the fun, and even if I do, I probably won't trust it or enjoy it much...because since "life is hard," I will know the easy moments are fleeting and insubstantial.

There's some truth in all of these statements, of course. But that doesn't make any of them the deepest kind of True.

But what about that one, the trademarked one: Life is good. Is that the deepest kind of True? Can I really believe that?

Well...what if you did?

Let us in all the troubles of life remember--that our one lack is life--that what we need is more life--more of the life-making presence in us making us more, and more largely, alive. When most oppressed, when most weary of life, as our unbelief would phrase it, let us bethink ourselves that it is in truth the inroad and presence of death we are weary of. When most inclined to sleep, let us rouse ourselves to live. Of all things let us avoid the false refuge of a weary collapse, a hopeless yielding to things as they are. It is the life in us that is discontented; we need more of what is discontented, not more of the cause of its discontent.

--George MacDonald

Too often we forget that the way we see the world is a choice.

I'm choosing to believe that Life if Good today. I choosing it because I believe it is the deepest kind of True.

What will you believe today?

The Story of Stuff

2009-04-16T06:15:00.000-05:00

In case you're looking for a good solid reason to get off the consumer bandwagon, here's 20 or so. Very cool video. Takes 20 minutes. Here's an intro sample:

Watch the rest of the video by clicking here...

I know the problem is huge, but we all have a role to play in changing the way we (especially we Americans) live. Honestly, I'm still trying to sort it all out. Probably the biggest change I've made so far is to cancel my cable TV. I also don't get the paper. Without either of those, I no longer get bombarded by all the ads. It was a weird adjustment at first, but I have to tell you that one year later, all I feel is relief. I had no idea how much pressure I was feeling from all that advertising, constantly pushing me toward discontentment and buying more and more stuff to make it all better. Of course, I've still got internet, and it troubles me to see the ads becoming more and more frequent and invasive on the web. But I do my best to avoid them.

What are some ways you're getting off the consumer hamster wheel?

The Function of Freedom

2009-04-14T06:45:00.000-05:00

I’ve been pondering lately this quote by Toni Morrison, which I came across in Bird by Bird, Anne Lamott’s great book on the writing life:

“The function of freedom is to free someone else.”

I don’t know how this thought hits you, but I can tell you that for me, it knocked me flat. And I mean that in a very good way. For if this is true—and it immediately resonated in my soul as fundamentally so—then it presents an entirely new measure for determining just how free you actually are, one that I would think is far more accurate than the more illusory gauges on which we typically rely, like the thickness of your wallet or the ease of your daily routine.

Here’s what I mean: When freedom is authentically present in a person’s heart and life, then that freedom will naturally and I think quite deliberately set about freeing the hearts and lives around it. What if freedom isn’t just about my experience of things—my life, my space, my enjoyment of the day? What if freedom, when it’s real, is inherently revolutionary? What if I’m not truly free until you are too?

I like this thought. And I find it puts a much more dangerous spin on these words from Scripture: “It was for freedom that Christ set us free” (Galatians 5:1). That verse has always confirmed for me how deeply God values my freedom—to the point of dying for me that I may have it. But perhaps it says more about God’s revolutionary intention than I had realized. He knew that authentic freedom, once unleashed in a single human soul, could not help but advance to free the hearts of all those nearby as well.

Are you free? Am I?

Take a look. The answer is all around you.

Happy Easter!

2009-04-12T09:15:00.002-05:00

Happy Easter all.

May our worship today be beautiful.

MichaelWarden.com is Down...but not out!

2009-04-06T10:08:00.002-05:00

If you've tried to visit michaelwarden.com today, and suddenly found yourself here at my blog instead, that's totally my doing. Well, actually, Josh did it, but only 'cause I asked him too. (He's awesome; you should hire him for your next web project.) Seems yesterday somebody assailed my website with a virus, which caused me to have to bring it down. So I asked Josh to divert folks here.

So, welcome!

If you're looking for The Transformed Heart devotional, you can find it by clicking here.

Otherwise, feel free to hang out and look around. Say hello. Leave a comment.

It's great to have you here.

peace--Michael

I'm Back...and Here's Something Inspiring

2009-03-30T06:16:00.000-05:00

Couldn't help but share this. Talk about Dangerous Radical Free! Check it:

The Earth Expedition from Daren Wendell on Vimeo.

Learn more about how you can help in Daren's quest by clicking here.

So...how can you make your life a part of the solution?

Think about it. I know I am.

Back Soon

2009-03-23T16:54:00.001-05:00

Thanks for your patience everyone. I'm taking a step away from the blog for a while to attend to some pressing matters. Not much longer now I hope...

Until then, grace...

Michael

Psalm 22

2009-03-12T06:36:00.003-05:00

A fellow blogger pointed me to this short video rendition of Psalm 22, the psalm from which Jesus quoted the famous line, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" Watching the video reminded me again of the powerful way the psalms capture and convey with such raw honesty and hope so much of our human journey with God.

Challenging Quotes

2009-03-11T06:18:00.000-05:00

Whenever I come across a quote that I find especially inspiring or challenging, I tuck it away in a document where I collect them. Then from time to time I read through them all and pull out one or several that seem especially relevant or instructive in my current season, and meditate on them over a period of weeks to see what God may have to teach me through them. Here are some of the quotes that are particularly challenging and stretching to me right now:

A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world. -- Oscar Wilde

I go through life as a transient on his way to eternity, made in the image of God but with that image debased, needing to be taught how to meditate, to worship, live, and to think. -- Donald Coggan

I would hurl words into this darkness and wait for an echo, and if an echo sounded, no matter how faintly, I would send other words to tell, to march, to fight, to create a sense of hunger for life that gnaws in us all. -- Richard Wright

One’s real life is often the life that one does not lead. -- Ocsar Wilde

You are a human boy, my young friend. A human boy. O glorious to be a human boy! O running stream of sparkling joy to be a soaring human boy! -- Charles Dickens

Every great man is unique. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A man who has attained mastery of an art, reveals it in his every action. -- Samurai Maxim (17th Century Japan)

You see, idealism detached from action is just a dream. But idealism allied with pragmatism, with rolling up your sleeves and making the world bend a bit, is very exciting. It's very real. It's very strong, and it's very present. -- Bono

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? -- Mary Oliver

Let the wars begin, let my strength wear thin
Let my fingers crack, let my world fall apart
Train the monkeys on my back to fight
Let it start tonight
--Switchfoot, "Let Your Love Be Strong"

Happiness vs. Fulfillment

2009-03-10T06:47:00.001-05:00

The other day the Dark Knight asked me to explain what I would say to a coaching client who is trying to choose between what would make them feel happy and what they think is best for their life. It's a great question, especially for us in the West, because we are often under the misguided notion that feeling happy and being fulfilled are the same thing. But, alas, they are not.

Fulfillment is a two-sided door. One one side, fulfillment involves the pursuit of a life of deep purpose--of surrendering yourself to a Power and purpose greater than yourself. This is essential to fulfillment--and by definition involves a certain level of sacrifice, a willingness to follow a Higher Call, even when that Call leads you to what can seem like some pretty risky or uncomfortable territory.

The other side of the "fulfillment door" involves the practice and art of being fully alive in the here and now--of experiencing your life, and all the ups and downs and potential of it, as fully and completely as you can. This does not always mean you'll feel happy; in fact, the internal imperative to pursue only happy feelings can paradoxically rob you of a rich, full life. You can, for example, be fully alive in your grief or sorrow. And though that certainly is not a happy experience, it is a core part of the human experience. Fulfillment isn't just about reaching your goal and feeling good all the time; it's about fully experiencing your life as you take the transformational journey toward whatever mountaintop you're aiming for.

As one friend of mine recently put it, "Happiness is overrated." Of course, I'm not saying you shouldn't be happy in life. Everybody wants to be happy. But what we so often fail to see is that happiness is a byproduct of a fulfilled life--a life fully surrendered to a Power and purpose larger than ourselves. You cannot find happiness by making happiness your goal.

Searight Park (Winter)

2009-03-09T06:50:00.001-05:00

I finally hauled my cell phone along as I ran the trail at Searight park so I could take a few shots along the way. This is what I get to enjoy each time I go out there...

Resisting Your True Name

2009-03-04T06:34:00.000-06:00

A friend of mine recently took me through a values-clarification process that had me dig way down to the foundation of who I really am and what I value most in the world. It was not an analytical exercise, but rather purposefully had me lean into my own intuition and God's Spirit to guide me in answering the questions presented to me.

At the very end, I was left with three very core ideas that drive my life: Freedom, Rest and Risk, and my friend (whom you can learn more about here, by the way) asked me if there was an image or word or phrase that encapsulated those three core aspects of who I am. Funny thing is, an image immediately came to mind. It was the one on the right. But I couldn't accept it. It seems too grandiose to me. Too big.

I hesitated a bit, then finally mumbled out the word "warrior," but then quickly added that it wasn't quite right, and I would have to think about it some more. But then (it's so good to have friends who really know you), another friend of mine who was present said, "When Gary asked you that question, what came to me was the name Aragorn."

And I thought, "Holy crap. That's it." Not just any warrior. Aragorn.

My True Name is Aragorn.

It's a difficult thing to accept your True Name, even if that name comes to you directly from God. That's because your True Name is always bigger than you think you are, or can be. It's always a scary business, this living out your unique God-given identity. You can't live small and be your true self. You can't hide in the shadows. You can't pretend. It's a vulnerable, naked thing. As Eldredge writes in Waking the Dead:

The deeper reason we fear our own glory is that once we let others see it, they will have seen the truest us, and that is nakedness indeed. We can repent of our sin. We can work on our “issues.” But there is nothing to be “done” about our glory. It’s so naked. It’s just there—the truest us. It is an awkward thing to shimmer when everyone else around you is not, to walk in your glory with an unveiled face when everyone else is veiling his...

Finally, our deepest fear of all . . . we will need to live from it. To admit we do have a new heart and a glory from God, to begin to let it be unveiled and embrace it as true—that means the next thing God will do is ask us to live from it. Come out of the boat. Take the throne. Be what he meant us to be. And that feels risky . . . really risky. But it is also exciting. It is coming fully alive. My friend Morgan declared, “It’s a risk worth taking.”

Vulnerable? You bet. But definitely a risk worth taking.

--Aragorn

Everything's Amazing...And Nobody's Happy

2009-03-03T06:33:00.000-06:00

Like my dad used to say, "Perspective is everything." So much of your fulfillment is determined by how you look at life.

Waymaker Ranked One of the Best of 2008!

2009-03-02T06:54:00.000-06:00

Christian Fiction Review announced last week it's "Best of 2008" picks, and I'm thrilled and humbled that Waymaker was selected as one of the Top 10 novels of the year.

Wow!

Many thanks to the good folks at Christian Fiction Review! And for those of you who've been waiting for a reason to read Waymaker or to tell someone else about it so they can read it--well, c'mon! This is a pretty good reason. I'm just sayin'.

BUY ME, PLEASE!

D.U.M.B. Goals

2009-02-27T06:17:00.002-06:00

Here's a great guideline I recommend to anyone who wants to appear as though they're trying to make changes in their life without actually having to make any progress.

You've heard of S.M.A.R.T. Goals right? Well, I call these D.U.M.B. Goals:

D -- Don't ask for help of any kind ever, no matter how tough it gets.
U -- Underestimate the level of personal commitment and sacrifice it's going to take to actually get there.
M -- Make fuzzy plans. Never set a firm deadline. Always give yourself an "out" in case you have a bad day, or month, or year. Or heck why not: a bad decade.
B -- Beat yourself up emotionally each time you fail.

D.U.M.B. or S.M.A.R.T -- The choice is yours.

Are You In Your Element?

2009-02-26T06:36:00.003-06:00

A friend turned me onto this video of Sir Ken Robinson, an internationally recognized leader in the development of creativity, innovation and human resources. Sir Robinson has worked with governments in Europe, Asia and the USA, with international agencies, Fortune 500 companies, and some of the world’s leading cultural organizations. He speaks to audiences throughout the world on the creative challenges facing business and education in the new global economies.

In the 90-minute talk below, he explores the principles & ideas behind his latest work, The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything. Aside from being inspirational, I found the talk very affirming of the work I do as a coach and writer, my passion for helping people find their own and build their life around it. I also found many of his ideas enlightening, as Robinson has taken the notion of unleashing human potential that I use as a coach and writer, and overlaid it onto other long-standing institutions like schools, corporations, communities, and governments. Fascinating!

Top 5 Ways to Create Real Culture Change

2009-02-25T06:22:00.002-06:00

I've been very curious lately about what can effectively (read that: permanently and positively) create culture change. You might think of culture as the relational organism within the structural organization. For example, the U.S. has a government (an organization) but it also has a culture. The culture is born out of the organization and exists within it, but is it's own separate and unique entity. Same goes for a corporation, a school, a family, a church...you get the idea.

So one interesting thing I've learned about culture is that culture inherently resists change...even when that change is for the better and even when the individuals within that culture may want the change to happen. It's as if the culture itself takes on a life and will of its own; it becomes the tiger we grab by the tail and try to move to someplace new. But when you try to do this to a tiger, of course, it attacks. And so does the culture. We get push back, backlash. Dissention. Intractable resistance. Even hate or violence.

Purposefully trying to change a culture is tricky business, especially with our current cultural value for collaborative community. If one voice tries to rise up and tell us all how we should be or what we should be doing, we'll collectively swipe that guy off his pedestal with lightning speed. Unless of course, we collectively believe he is speaking for us...that he is simply reflecting back to us what we are collectively saying as a culture anyway.

So given all that, how do you create authentic culture change?

Here's a quick list of ideas I'm exploring:

Go Viral -- Essentially, this approach involves trying to infect the culture with change in a quiet, positively subversive way. Just as a physical virus gets a foothold in a body by sneaking past the body's defenses, a viral approach to culture change involves "sneaking past" the culture's conscious awareness until its too late for the culture to stop it. A culture will not resist what it's not aware of. The recent Facebook phenomenon happened in this way. It may seem like all of a sudden a few months ago, everyone and their dog decided to join Facebook. But the Facebook creators have been quietly working their viral infection into the cultural mainstream for years now.

Leverage What's Already There -- Find the sub-group within the culture in which the change you're wanting to see happen has already occurred (or is already occurring), and give those people a larger platform to speak from so they can be more effectively heard by the culture as a whole.

Be the Spark -- Or as Ghandi would put it, "Be the change you want to see." This approach is not about "preaching" or persuading others toward a particular change, it's about embodying the change yourself, and letting your example infect others organically.

Enlist the Catalysts -- Find the first adopters, the culture catalysts within your group, and openly invite them to join your cause. This is, in part at least, the approach recommended by The Tipping Point.

Deep Democracy -- This approach, which is beautifully promoted and taught by The Center for Right Relationship, involves creating a curious, open, non-judgmental environment and inviting all the various voices of the culture to step into a conversation together. The very act of increasing the level of awareness in the culture (truly hearing all the voices and perspectives) has the effect of actually changing the culture. Of course, it may or may not shift in the direction you think it should, but generally the shift is always toward something better and more effective.

So I'm curious--how have you used these various approaches to culture change in your own leadership? Which ones do you favor? What are some other approaches that aren't mentioned here?

Feel free to post your thoughts, questions, insights...

Fullfillment...or "Too-full-ment"?

2009-02-24T06:45:00.002-06:00

I had a great conversation with my friend and coaching mentor, Galadriel, this past week about a perpetual struggle I have with experiencing fulfillment in my life. In the process, I learned a fun (and I think very apt) new word: Too-full-ment. (Thanks to Galadriel for that one!)

Too-full-ment is what happens when you fill your plate, not with things that drain you or don't bring you life, but with too many things that do. You go after too many good, life-giving things at once, and the paradoxical effect of that is that your life actually becomes less fulfilling. For a dunce like me, this experience can be very confusing. After all, more is more, right? More life, more joy, more good meaningful work, more deep relationship. The more of that you can get onto your plate, the better your life is. So how come when I do that--when I fill my plate to overflowing with tons of great, meaningful, life-giving things--I end up feeling less alive. Drained. Even burdened.

My problem is this: I tend to treat life like an all-you-can-eat buffet. So many wonderful choices, so many flavors to try, so much to consume! I fill my plate to the rim and eat it quickly (because some part of me knows my stomach will soon betray me and signal "full") and go refill it again. It's all good stuff (OK, I realize most buffets are actually full of junkie foods, but for the sake of the analogy, let's assume that my buffet has nothing but the best-tasting most nutritious food imaginable), and I take it all in with passion and vigor. But when I can finally take no more, what I find at the end of that experience is not fulfillment, but suffering. I feel awful. Like a stuffed whale begging to be put out of its misery. Instead of being fulfilled, I'm over-full--a condition that's anything but life-giving.

As Galadriel said during our convo, it's not that you can't have it all, you just can't have it all at once.

Part of living a life of fulfillment involves respecting the limits of your own capacity. Too much of a good thing does not make Jack a fulfilled boy. True fulfillment means consciously choosing to say no some things that really do bring you life, in favor of balance, breathing room, and a healthy, life-giving pace.

What about you? When does fulfillment turn into "too-full-ment" for you? How do you know when you've crossed the line? And how do you get back to a truly fulfilling life?

Creativity and Suffering

2009-02-23T06:30:00.000-06:00

Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love) muses on the impossible things we expect from writers and others artists -- and shares her belief (which I hold to as well) that the notion that all true creatives are doomed to experience great sorrow and suffering in life is an unfortunate byproduct of the Age of Rationalism, and that being an artist, though certainly difficult, need not lead to self destruction.

For anyone out there who has experienced the mystical process that is writing, Gilbert's talk will not only encourage you, but challenge you to choose to engage with your creativity in a new way--a way that doesn't require you to live in depression as the price for being good at your art, but encourages you to see creativity for the divine wonder that it can be.

(video is 19 minutes long)

A Study in Cultural Transformation

2009-02-18T11:16:00.003-06:00

Jose Antonio Abreu is the charismatic founder of a youth orchestra system that has transformed thousands of kids' lives in Venezuela. Here he shares his amazing story and unveils a TED Prize wish that could have a big impact in the US and beyond.

I'm intrigued by the model and metaphor Sr. Abreu offers in this 16-minute video. Viewing life as a song we learn to play together, he has successfully brought about a huge cultural transformation for the poor in Venezuela through art and music. Over 300,000 children in Venezuela are now in his program, and through it they have experienced a truly impressive personal transformation, which is in turn inspiring transformation in their families, which leads to the transformation of society itself. Sr. Abreu calls it "art in service of humanity."

As I've been lately studying a lot about how to inspire culture change (in a family, in a business, in a church, in a society), I find Sr. Abreu's example rich with principles and perspectives that I believe can teach us all a lot about what it really takes to impact the world for positive change.

How can we take what Sr. Abreu has done and apply it to impacting our own sphere of influence for good?

The Only Thing to Fear Is...

2009-02-16T06:09:00.001-06:00

Came across Matthew Paul Turner's essay on Fear, which he read aloud recently at his church in Nashville. The video is only about 6 minutes long, and for anyone who's grown up in a strict religious household as I did, it's pretty funny. And pretty revealing.

I especially loved one thought Turner expressed in the reading: "When you live in fear, you stop dreaming."

How true. And it begs the question, which I invite you to think of as your question of the week:

Where is fear holding you back from dreaming?

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear... -- 1 John 4:18a

A Developmental God

2009-02-13T06:01:00.001-06:00

I got another humdinger of a question from Lisa:

Do you think God would give us something we think we want even if he knows it's not good for us in order to teach us something? Or do you think maybe he removes his hand of protection when we ignore his voice and go after it ourselves?

Wow. These strike right at the heart of a couple of foundational questions of faith & theology--really important ones that will shape everything about your life with God depending on how you answer them.

Is God good?
How does God develop people?

There's no way I could adequately speak to these issues in one blogpost, but let me just riff on a couple of things about it. First, as to the question of whether or not God is good: It's a critically important and honest question that every Christ follower will (and should) struggle with at some point, primarily because God will not be boxed and will not act in alignment with our expectations. And when He fails to do (or not do) whatever we think He should (or shouldn't), we're faced with a choice: Do I hold to my belief that God is good, or do I reject Him?

I write at length about this question in my book Alone With God, but the great trap here is to get lost in the fuzzy limbo of neither fully trusting in God's goodness, nor fully abandoning the idea that He is good. I think this is the epitome of being "lukewarm" in your faith, and all it leads to is a relationship built on perpetual suspicion of God's heart and His motives. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who's perpetually doubting my intentions, and I'm pretty sure God doesn't want to be either. He would rather you be either hot or cold. However you get there is up to you, but you have to make up your mind about what you're going to believe about whether or not God is good, and put the question to rest.

Regarding how God develops people: The thing that I notice most often here is that people forget (or have never been told) that God is fundamentally a developmental God...that is to say, He is always, always focused on developing us--in effect, training us, growing us up. Often when we're confused by God's apparent failure to protect us from harm or danger or risk, it's because we've forgotten that we are in training, and that He is far more interested in our development than He is in our comfort.

Along with that is the reality that we are, in fact, developing. Growing. Who I was 10 years ago is not the same as who I am today. And so naturally, God's methods and approach for developing me will change as I grow. The way God engages with me will change over time--not because He has changed, but because I have. The way you train a 3 year old is worlds apart from the way you train a 14 year old, which is again radically different from the way you train a grown man of 35.

There's also the issue of free will. God works with the willing; He won't force Himself on anyone. So if you're clearly not willing to follow His lead, then out of respect for your free will, He will step of the way and say, "your will be done." How quickly he does this would depend on where you are on the journey (are you 3? 14? 35?), and the overall level of commitment in your relationship with him.

All of these elements--that God is developmental, that we are changing, that we have free will--play into the answer to the question of whether or not God will allow us to have something He knows is not good for us. Generally speaking, I'd say the answer is definitely yes. But how quickly He steps aside, how much resistance He puts up to hold you back from a destructive choice--all of that depends on a number of factors.

Again, this is far too short and inadequate an answer to such big questions. But I hope it's at least provided some useful fodder for further discussion, research and prayer.

Indulgences Are The New Black

2009-02-12T09:54:00.004-06:00

I saw this very curious article this week in the NY Times: For Catholics, A Door to Absolution is Reopened. You might want to check it out.

Indulgences, in case you've forgotten your high school Medieval History 101, are priest-prescribed acts of penance that you perform to avoid jail time in Purgatory (and I'm not talking about Purgatory, Colorado). Back in the Middle Ages, indulgences included gifts of money to the church--meaning a priest could absolve you of punishment in the afterlife if you gave a tidy sum to the church coffers. This became a great source of corruption in the church, and was a central issue in Luther's split from the Pope. Nowadays indulgences can't be "bought" with money, but still can be secured through acts of service or contrition--acts that can vary widely depending on the person's sin (for which he's getting an indulgence) and the inclination of the priest prescribing it.

If all this "indulgence" stuff sounds confusing, it's because it is. The article does a pretty good job of trying to explain it. But my real question is this:

What is this really all about?

I seriously doubt this move has anything to do with Indulgences themselves. They are a symptom or signal of some deeper dynamic happening in the Vatican right now. What is it?

Tim & Nora

2009-02-11T09:44:00.009-06:00

I'm taking a break today from my usual riffing to be the proud uncle. My nephew Tim and his lovely bride Nora got married this past Sunday, and I wanted to celebrate with you and them by posting a few snapshots from this event. These were taken on my cell phone camera.

My Vision Map for 2009

2009-02-09T06:36:00.000-06:00

It may be hard to make out, but if you click on it, it will explode.

My 2009 Theme Video

2009-02-06T12:23:00.002-06:00

As I explained in a previous post, my theme for 2009 is Dangerous Radical Free Flow. It's all about breaking out of restrictive comfort zones and jumping into the radical free flow of God's Spirit and leading in my life. Rich Mullins often referred to the "reckless raging fury" that is God's love. More recently I've grown partial to referencing the Spirit as Ah Geadh-Glas (Celtic for "The Wild Goose") in honor of His wild and unpredictable nature.

I thought I'd share with you the video I've chosen as my inspirational theme video for the year. What you're about to see looks as free and wild as anything I've ever seen, and it also scares the crap out of me...both of which I think are the point exactly.

Unfetter yourself. Find the wind.

wingsuit base jumping from Ali on Vimeo.

Faith, Idolatry, and the Permission to Feel

2009-02-05T08:56:00.005-06:00

A reader (Lisa) left this comment on yesterday's blog entry, and rather than just post a response to her comment, I wanted to explore it a bit here. If you haven't already, you might want to read yesterday's post before reading on so the context makes sense.

First, here's the question Lisa asked (thanks Lisa!):

Where in your opinion do you draw the line from something being a healthy longing or hunger, the thing you can't live without to it being an idol?

I learned this morning that Ken Sande in his book The Peace Maker defines "idol" as "when a desire has become so strong it controls our thoughts and behavior" and he says that you can tell when a desire is ruling your heart by how you react when that desire isn't met.

First of all, I just want to say this is a fantastic question, and one that every Christ follower must resolve in order to experience the full freedom and Life the gospel offers. Here's my take on it: A desire becomes an idol when it usurps God as the prime object of our heart's devotion. "You shall have no other gods before me" (Exodus 20:3) is, for me anyway, a fairly straightforward measure. Do I want my desire more than I want God and his will for my life? Is my desire causing me to lose devotion to God, or even to push him away? If the answer is yes, then I've probably put my desire before God; it has become an idol--something I serve above God.

I can appreciate the warning to avoid letting your desires "control your thoughts and behavior," and of course I agree. But some wrongly take that to mean that as Christ followers we should avoid feeling or desiring anything too profoundly or too deeply, for fear of it becoming an idol. The mandate of Scripture to be governed by the Spirit (Galatians 5:16) does not mean that we should suppress our desires or minimize how we authentically feel about things. On the contrary, I think the freedom the gospel affords us (John 10:10; Galatians 5:1) calls us forth to experience life even more deeply and truly in every way than we did before coming to faith, allowing our hearts to feel the full breadth and depth of our deep desires (and please note I'm not talking about fleshly lusts here, but the deep desires of the heart), and to bring those deep desires into our relationship with God, inviting Him into them and fully submitting them to Him.

This is, at least in part, what I believe this well-known passage is instructing us to do:

Delight yourself in the L ORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalms 37:4)

He doesn't say "don't desire;" but rather, have your desires, and choose to delight yourself in God above all. In my view, this is a far more courageous and authentic way of walking with God than simply suppressing our desire out of fear and calling it godliness. But it isn't godliness. Suppression is a weak substitute for authentic surrender.

I'm reminded of this quote from John Eldredge's The Journey of Desire:

"To live with desire is to choose vulnerability over self-protection; to admit our desire and seek help beyond ourselves is even more vulnerable. It is an act of trust. In other words, those who know their desire and refuse to kill it, or refuse to act as though they don't need help, they are the ones who live by faith. Those who do not ask do not trust God enough to desire. They have no faith. The deepest moral issue is always what we, in the heart of hearts, believe about God. And nothing reveals this belief as clearly as what we do with our desire." (p. 59)

Other thoughts on this? Feel free to post.

Radical Discomfort

2009-02-04T08:59:00.006-06:00

Sometimes, if you really want something to change in your life, you have to be willing to do something radical. You have to step out and make the big hairy audacious move. You have to step up and roll the hard six.

I don't mean merely stepping out of your comfort zone; I'm talking about taking a running leap beyond the rim, and diving toward your hope like a tern or gannet plunging out of its native sky into the alien ocean below.

Sometimes, Life asks big things of us. Scary things. Radically uncomfortable things. And thank God it happens, because in those moments of stark, distilled clarity, you simply can't hide anymore behind a wish and a dream. You can't fool yourself with elaborate plans and magical thinking. All of your well-conceived pretension fails you...because that thing you want -- that dream or longing or hunger deep down in your gut that you keep saying is the most important thing, is the thing you can't live without, is the thing you'd give anything for -- it calls your bluff. It calls to you from across the canyon of your resistance and says, "I'm right here. You want me? Come and claim me."

When that moment comes, you know it's time to either play or get out of the game. It's time to do something radical. You either go Evil Knievel on this thing or put away the rhinestone leather body suit and go home...Go home, and settle for the life you've got, just the way things are. Stop pretending that you're ever going to leap that chasm. It's far too uncomfortable. It costs too much on all sorts of levels. It's unreasonable.

Yes. Unreasonable.

I wonder how many people have missed the joy they could have had because they were just too reasonable?

What is that thing you've been longing for for way too long?
What is the radical act, the running leap outside your comfort zone, the unreasonable decision that you would do if you were absolutely fearless and knew you could not fail?
How long will you stand on the edge of the chasm between where you are and where you want to be and hope that somebody, somewhere builds you a bridge?

Maybe it's time for you to embrace some radical discomfort in your life.
Maybe it's time you shoot the finger at your own fear and take the daring leap toward your heart's desire.
Maybe it's time you really honestly counted the cost of that thing you want, and...just...pay it.
Maybe it's time you stopped waiting for it to be easy, and jumped.

Kiva and Nerdfighters

2009-02-03T06:21:00.001-06:00

Okay I'm showing this video today for two reasons. First, it's a great explanation of how microfinancing organizations like Kiva.org work, which is awesome because I love Kiva and want everyone who reads this post to take 10 minutes today to go to Kiva.org, open an account and loan $25 to someone living in extreme poverty who's working their tail off to make a living for themselves.

10 minutes. 25 bucks. Change a life. How hard can that be?

But the second reason I'm showing this particular video is because it was created by John, of John and Hank on YouTube, also known as the Vlog Brothers. You want some funny in your life? Subscribe to the Vlog Brothers YouTube channel. Really. Every few days, you'll get a 3-minute shot of low-tech entertainment sent right to your virtual doorstep. Still not convinced? Okay. Lemme 'splain:

Hank and John are, in fact, brothers.
They live in different parts of the country
On a lark, a dare, I don't know what, they decided to stop all email or text communication between them, and instead create a video blog for each other every week, and upload it to YouTube.
They talk about all things important to nerds, such as which superpower would be the worst one to have, and whether Harry Potter's brain is a horcrux, but also things like Kiva, and other ways to reduce the overall level of "world suck."
They've been doing this for some time now, and have garnered a huge following.
They are nerds, proud to be nerds, and even better, they are smart, funny nerds.
You will like it.

And....you're welcome. Now, watch the video. Then go to Kiva. Then go see the Vlog Brothers.